The Fourth Horse - Open Book Lyrics

Cognition, emotion and behavior
No volition when distraction is my savior
On a mission but I'm lacking in my labor
Try to listen but it isn't in my nature, nature

I only hear my own thoughts
My body might be present in this home but I'm not
I've gotta tow my own lot
Can't escape my programming like I'm a robot
This is all that I've got
Everything I could ever need and it don't mean squat
Tryna move on but I'm caught
Can only blame myself for this pain that I've brought

Thought what I felt wasn't right
Left to the spot where we dealt with our pain through the night
Taming my brain out of spite
Nah, I'm too angry to make any instance look bright
Your mental fitness seems tight
Why can't I just bring myself to get with this tonight
Only reason that I spit this is to feel alright
All I'm needing is a witness to my fear and fright

Here's your opportunity to peer inside my mind
If you really wanna get to know me listen to my rhymes
Every tape that I drop is a little piece of myself
Might seem on track but I'm not, this brittle soul I was dealt
I'm so full of what I've felt
I'm so full of what I've felt
I'm so full of what I've felt
I'm so full of what I've felt

Dish what I get dealt, at least it covers up the bruises
Ditch the pain I've felt and I'll replace it with aloofness
Switch up on my pills and I'm not waking 'til the noon hits
Wish that I could rest in peace but I don't wanna lose this

Just pieces of a whole life
Something don't feel right
Think I'd better hold tight
Then I'm sinking in the sofa for a whole night
Drinking in the darkness, simply searching for a bold light
Yeah right
Feeding off of poison like a mold mite
Bleeding onto pages every day just left in cold fright
Hefting hurt through stages of my being
Never hearing, never seeing
Whether clear headed or weaning I'm just tryna find some meaning

You could say I'm putting pen to paper typing on my phone
All my friends and family in my hands but I'm still here alone
It's a freedom, it's a choice to place my footsteps on my own
Never need another soul to face the aging of my bones

Not a life that I'd condone
I'm in over my head, it's time to work with my hands
Grind to meet the demands and keep on beat with my plans
Mind is set on the brand, hell I've already got fans

But still don't feel like a man, I worry
I don't have legs to even stand in the hurry
Although my vision is grand it's getting blurry
I don't think you could even understand all the fury

I'm feeling it purely
Gotta know me to cure me
If you can't heal me just lure me
Steal me away from this place prematurely

'Cause I've lived in this state too long
It's always dragging me down although it's made you strong
It's a challenge to appreciate what felt so wrong
What we can salvage is the balance

Black and white thoughts
Trapped in a tight spot
Slacking on quite a lot
Might crack but I might not
Fight back 'til my last chance
Right track with the wrong stance
My lacking is expansive
Tackling finances

I've got a lot to live for
A lot to die for
Try to give more
My mind is a bit sore
I'm rhyming to ignore
The energies in force
The lethargy fills me
I'm cleverly killing
My memory swilling
I'm generally willing
But reverie's building
I'm slenderly wilting
I'm endlessly dealing
With hell and I'm reeling

This threat is too real, I'm about to keel over
Brain's wet, I can't feel
No one's keeping me sober
Man won't bake a meal, can't even call me a loafer
I'm about to strike out so I'ma run it to Homer