gayrat - rainy days & nicotine Lyrics

Rainy days spent waking to an empty bed
The smell of fruit and nicotine, aroma fills my head
Promised mom I wouldn't smoke, guess that's another one broken
Hate the ways I say "I love you" when I'm suffocating, choking
On an identity I'd given up long ago
Doubt there is much left for me, I've given up my hope
I've spent my days like currency, I will not die broke

You wouldn't love me if you managed to remove this mask

Last one who did ghosted me, the one before that cracked
Under the pressure, deserted me forever
That's why I'm insecure and don't want to die alone, together
Tastes like heaven, I am starving for companionship
Devoured love like loneliness, and that is rather hard to pen
Words are really cheap so I have taught myself to speak less
Not that I did that much before, but now it really seems this
Life that I have lived thus far has been giving me a sign
That it doesn't have to be like this; I could really say goodbye

Silence does more for me than conversations ever could

Those conversations with myself really never did much good
I am my own worst enemy, first place through last
Mount my head up on a spike; like the warlords of the past
Maybe then they could be silenced, those thoughts seem not to come from me
That voice, it sounds familiar, yet vague, it's like a memory