Trauma Video (MV)

Back in the day I couldn't have it any other way
I couldn't be this I couldn't be that couldn't chase dreams or see beyond that
You dictated my fate said who I'd be snuffed out the light of dreams in me
You killed my ambitions my hope said you never believed
Yet all I wanted was for you to see me shine and succeed

I couldn't listen to rap couldn't dance like my dad
You took my time left me feeling nothing but bad
Couldn't play football Clowned in long socks each day
Jeered by jocks who couldn't stand my stride or style either way
I led the pack but those times were ice cold Ice Cold Whole mile

You were so rude kept me from my crew
Made me a puppet in your show turned me into a lie so at fifteen I flew
I left the rodeo you the stubborn bull
Lost my soul where did my spark go? Still I search it's ever dull

I beg you just admit you broke me down
Even though I let you you tightened the noose stole my crown
Once freeI learned I was whitewashed expected to be
Brightskin nigga black-ish but not accepted being me
Honestly neither side would welcome me

Step into my heart or will you bail call me a liar?
You'll never grasp the trials I faced to stand tall become all I aspired
Every day I prayed to escape but found only chains
Pushed to the brink internally all that was left was my remains

Oh the pains struck like ice-picks in winter's embrace
Lost with no role models in my veins estrangement I traced
But breaking free I found daylight breathed fresh air no despair
It took years to love myself the spark's gone do I dare?

You drained all emotion left a hollow envy deep inside
Watching others live freely while in my head I was brine

Trying to forgive you but all you telll me is i'm lying or not remembering things right
When the most painful f*cking memories stick with you vividly for life

Inable to play your part in my lifes redemption I release you to your ego's tourney
I know you tried your best but you left me shattered glass and when you can't see that?
It brings pain askew to see you so blinded by selfish combat know I asked first and last
I hope you enjoy your lonely journey knowing you were unworthy