Golf Weapons - P. K. Chester Lyrics

P. K. Chester made his way
Down the street back to his house
He carefully removed his key
And the lock began to melt

Seeing this he rubbed his eyes
Blinked and shook his head
The lock returned to normal
And in his house he went

He stepped into his bedroom
And the sheets began to growl
His dresser sang an opera
And the mirror shot him a scowl

Seeing this he rubbed his eyes
Blinked and shook his head
The mirror gave no more dirty looks
And the room was quiet again

P. K. Chester thought
"Are there holes inside my brain?
I don't feel any different
But my house is not the same!"

When he reached the bathroom
The toothpaste now could speak
It told him, "Get the pipes checked out
I think they've sprung a leak!"

Seeing this he rubbed his eyes
Blinked and shook his head
The pipes were really leaking
So he hadn't been misled

Soon he found within himself
The will to go to sleep
But the shadows began to move around
To dance and run and creep

Seeing this he rubbed his eyes
Blinked and shook his head
The shadows stopped their creeping
And he was safe in bed

P. K. Chester thought
"Are there holes inside my brain?
I don't feel any different
But my house is not the same!"

Settled into dreamland
He was walking to his house
He carefully removed his key
And the lock began to melt

He stepped into his bedroom
And the sheets began to growl
His dresser sang an opera
And the mirror shot him a scowl

When he reached the bathroom
The toothpaste now could speak
It told him, "Get the pipes checked out
I think they've sprung a leak!"

Not once did he rub his eyes
Never blinked or shook his head
The paradigm of calm and cool
He had no ounce of dread

P. K. Chester thought
"It's so nice to be home
Everything's so animated
I'll never feel alone!"