Hopsin - Marcus Gospel Lyrics

I done lost myself again
I done lost myself in sin
I've been burned by selfish men
I've been died but held it in
I do not want hell to win
Life's cold, I done felt the wind
Could it be any clearer?
When I look in the mirror
I just see a jackass with a tail to pin
Me and my family ain't close
So I got some fame and went ghost
I am not paintin' a hoax
You can hear the pain in my flows
They say that life has it's ups and downs
But why do I stay in the lows?
I don't like Marcus, I don't like Hopsin
I am ashamed of them both
You see, all that I have is my money
I had no idea that this was coming
I fell into the stereotype of a rapper
I'm how they package a dummy
This is my reality I embrace
I look back and I can see my mistakes
I just wish that I could rewind the days
I honestly don't want to be out of place
I guess we gotta face
All these issues like this as a human sometimes
Yes, I am losin' my mind
If you ever come to that conclusion, it's fine
Don't ignore all of the proof and the signs
I made my bed, I'ma lay in it
The thought is as soothin' as wine
Now all need is a suit and a tie, I tried

In my lowest times
I have failed to see
Sunny days are waiting
I'm in need of some company
God, please help this pain
'Cause I don't wanna ever see
This lonely road again
(This lonely road again)

Take it away, I want the peace, I want the happiness
I took a blindfolded shot, it was accurate
But in my heart I know I never asked for this
See, this life I'm in, it seem miraculous
Who knew I'd break a few bones when I tackled it?
It's been years and I still can't adapt to it
I cannot predict what my next chapter is
There's a hearse speedin' fast in the ashes and
I feel like I lay flat in the back of it
There's no love in my eyes, so look up in the sky
Bring me back like you did Lazarus
I can hear the devil whispering, "Come play!"
Injecting me softly with numb pain
My fingers are covered in blood stains
It's torturing I see in my son's aid
But one day, that will all change
When the fog strays, it's a lost page
That had blown away into the hallways
In the land where the wild dogs play
When you're confined into a small space
You will know that that's enough to cause rage
I'ma kick until the f*ckin' walls break
I don't know what made me walk straight
Into this fire, my soul is burnin' quick
I've been told this isn't permanent
Growin' up, my father made a lot of mistakes
I do not know why I didn't learn from his
Can you direct me to where the furnace is?
I need to do away with pain that's lurkin' and
Maybe figure out what my new purpose is
All these bad vibes are so discouragin'

In my lowest times
I have failed to see
Sunny days are waiting
I'm in need of some company
God, please help this pain
'Cause I don't wanna ever see
This lonely road again
(This lonely road again)
In my lowest times
I have failed to see
Sunny days are waiting
I'm in need of some company
God, please help this pain
'Cause I don't wanna ever see
This lonely road again
(This lonely road again)