iamchristian - heavy Lyrics

If you're watching this, then I'm already dead
So my eyes are a bit red, but no, I'm not stoned, I hope you are though

My life is heavy, you couldn't move it
In my shoes, wanna do some, you couldn't do it
She said I'm not the one, she must think she cupid
And I'm tired of peoples opinions, like dawg you are clueless
Wanna ask haters, like why do you do this?
Stroud really sucks, I ignore it with music
Newcastle the best, I wanna go back
I never will because of my dad

I want to love, I want it so bad
I can't because my generation bad
I wanna go, but my mom will be sad
I can't do nothing, I'm stuck inna trap
Ungrateful they think, I am the opposite
They say what they say, I will deposit
My feelings away, so I will await for something to change

I'm a changer when I'm feeling the danger
I got at least 18 old me's
Feeling like I took down 18 trees
'Cause all of them me's had there own things
I'm a hater when it comes to me cause they all tryna take down me
A verbal abuser, ask joey
Did that to many, I'm sorry

But, all y'all deserve it
I hid behind curtains
Y'all looked for me and decided that I'm worthless
Got a wrong vibe from the country and now I'm allergic
You getting too close, acknowledge my emergence
See that I'm hurting, you twist it and hurt it
Y'all are not perfect
And I am so certain
And I'm always me
Blonde, purple, pink
Whatever you see, I still go hard and I'm good for your team

Do you wanna know what I know?
I stayed here for the shows
My favorite person, they know, yeah
Screw being woke
Always been alone
So my face stuck to this phone
My mother really don't like me
I don't blame her
I lost hope
I get up and tell myself
That I failed her
And my minds dealt
With so much now
That I forget my moms health
And I'm in hell
I need some intel
On my mind
Like tell me how I felt
How I felt