ILL RAY - Hellucinations Lyrics

Staring at my ceiling, losing every thought
What was I thinking
Buried my soul in my backyard before I hit pre-teens and
I carried hate inside my heart that shit keeps f*cking bleeding
Carried the weight you never held that shit been deep depleting
Slowly holding up
Holding my guts
It's getting scary now
Figured someone come
Come help me up
I think I buried now
No one give me none
Send me to hell
That's just barrio now
Don't think I'm tripping I'm just trying to get up out of your town
I did what had to be done
So I'm the ones who's chiefing
Break down the ounces I ain't f*cking with no damn policemen
Barely sustaining on my own two feet they won't defeat me
You think I'm crazy
Pewee Loko breaking down your chisme
Who you giving up if not the one that's always held it down
Tugging on the rope chop down the branch and let the body down
Cuz all my eyes see is pain
And all my clowns do is frown
Still dropping bodies for gain
Still never making a sound
DOWN, DOWN, DOWN...
HEADIN DOWN
DOWN, DOWN, DOWN...
HEADING DOWN
Down off the pills again
Pop them like prescription said
Been training for this moment since my ass was maybe six
I don't really remember my memory a f*cking bitch
Diss me when I need it the most
Ain't that some shit
Work a nine to five for someone else's pocket
Dropping all the things they hate and stopping all the things that's popping
Clock in all these f*cking hours watching cowards kill devour
Losing sleep can't figure out why my life is a shit shower
Who the f*ck is you
Where the f*ck am I
There's supposed to be a white light
Where your f*cking eyes
Why am I dead inside
Lost track of what I need these flames consume me every night
Momma stay praying for me
I hear her every night
Hallucinating on the dirt
Steady putting in the work
What's worst than pushing all this weight is pushing through the hurt
Hallucinating on the curb
Devil's waiting with the herb
What's worst than praying for the end is actually being heard
DOWN, DOWN, DOWN...
HEADIN DOWN
DOWN, DOWN, DOWN...
HEADING DOWN
Further down than I hoped
Climbing this icy slope
Gripping the tek like money gripping on the white man soul
They told me let it go
Moms said learn the status quote
Can't get no job no hope
Felons they get the rope
I take my time no lies
Keep friends past certain lines
I shoot right past your proof Kurt Cobain in disguise
I should have stayed in school might have kept some my youth
Innocence dies with me
No stress No Stems No seeds
Nena calls once a week burn more with J and T
Still kicking packing weed still rapping planting seeds
Maxing inside this afterlife ain't bad when you're a G
Feels like my f*cking teens
Living out broken dreams
Prophetic little dweeb she used to look past me
Now I'm the wave in Sea
But ain't no surfing me
King LIL RAY been on the conquest
Since 2014
Die if you disagree
LITTLE RAY
LITTLE PEACE