I drove my Saracen through
Your garden last night
I kicked your front door
Down around at midnight
Oh something's telling me boy
You're avoiding me
And when I find you, you will go for your tea
Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet
And a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket
And a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol
We hold each other's hands
We are the British Army and we're
Here to take your land
My good friend Bertie, he's in the UDR
(who-ar who-ar) searching for weapons
He will go near and far (who-ar who-ar)
Up around by Cappagh
You'd never find him there
Oh the only gun he'd get there
Is an Armalite in his ear
Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet
And a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket
And a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol
We hold each other's hands
We are the British Army and we're
Here to take your land
My good friend Trevor, he's in the RUC
(I see I see)
But now they've handed him his redundancy
(I see I see)
The folks along the border won't
Be seeing him anymore
That provo sniper will be
Missing him for sure
Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet
And a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket
And a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol
We hold each other's hands
We are the British Army and we're
Here to take your land
My good friend Nigel, he's in the SAS
(oh yes oh yes)
He said a change is just as good as arrest
(oh yes oh yes) but now they've posted him
Way down to Crossmaglen
He wishes to blazes he was back in jail again
Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet
And a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket
And a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol
We hold each other's hands
We are the British Army and we're
Here to take your land
My good friend Sammy, he's in the DUP
(I see I see) an outstanding member
As all the world can see (I see I see)
I said go up to Donegal
If you want to have some fun
He said I'll take a run there
If I have nothing on
Oh I've got a brand new shiny helmet
And a pair of kinky boots
I've got a lovely new flak jacket
And a lovely khaki suit
And when we go on night patrol
We hold each other's hands
We are the British Army and we're
Here to take your land