Ivor Biggun - The Winker's Paradise (Misprint) Lyrics

I dreamed I was on an island
In the South Pacific sea
With ten thousand seagulls, ten million coconuts
Twelve nymphomaniacs and me
I've got eight gramophone records
I've fixed myself up nice
A million miles from a Monday morning
In a wanker's paradise

A knotted hanky on my head
I sat and took my ease
With a sausage roll and a one-handed magazine
Under the jam-butty trees
When a lifeboat full of schoolgirls
Came serenely floating by
They said with a grin "May we join you in
Your wanker's paradise?"

I led them dancing from the sea
By the waters we sat down
With a brass-band softly on the breeze
By a lake of Newcastle Brown

It was the clattering clock that woke me
And from my dream I rose
But in my hand was a coconut
And sand was between my toes
Oh, the next time I dream of Shangri-La
You won't have to ask me twice
Next time I go I'm stopping
In a wanker's paradise

I'm going to hang around like a fart in a Volkswagen
In a wanker's paradise
I'm gonna hang on in like Gunga Din
In a wanker's paradise