Control Video (MV)

I just lost control again
Whenever you're in need of help
You keep it to yourself
Whenever love is getting close you go to someone else
Sometimes the things I do I know are done to spite my health
Not sure that I can tell you why myself
You look like you've been sitting living in a perfect hell
They see the real you through the cracks in your imperfect shell
I dont think it's something you can quell by the time you tell
We all saw the writing on the wall
So we just kept distance
Zero resistance
The change in tone's some shit I called
It shows you're not listening
Are we worth fixing?
You made yourself into my only escape
My being open was my only mistake
I'm so hurt I changed to disguise it
These actions long term turned to violence
I turned all my trauma into fuel for my passion
Spited my depressions, now I'm farther than imagined
Sometimes I still get lost in all the ways my world collapsed around me
You can never fail if you win every time you're crashing
I'm laughing, you thought you put me out cus I'm reacting
My insignificance has left me nothing to lose
Gimme remorse,
Give me a hit unforced
I got plenty bounds to morph
Ill do it all from my porch bitch
Got up from the floor
And showed yall how to be more
My numbers are high scores
You're stuck on high school shit
I said let me find your lead
Call it greed, but I need this
Hated how they feed into all but me
It's like it's made so I change when it pleases
Started breaking down when I'd finally seen it
Somehow through all this you maintain control