Jamian - Surroundings Lyrics

Looking back at all of the days I spent holding change
Still ain't nothing changed
I became apart of my motivation
One with my situation
Changed locations, my surroundings the same
The same crowd to my name
Different faces under the same name with different karat chains
True to this game and now I'm too involved
These moments remind me of my pain and how it's on the cross
To keep fighting to keep fighting
This industry's uninviting
This piece of me's unexciting
Jesus, you've been providing but really I need this to go diamond
I'll put it down in writing, done did that
My sins forgiven
I'm not living off feelings to live for all of that
In life, you see the influence in how you impact all that's around
We're the surrounded who start to learn to adapt
Reactions tell us where the heart is at
No longer count the days, it's been a while
A change of heart, my demons smile, they started hanging out
Since I was a child, people changed and never stuck around
I'm still the same child
It's scary how the mirror knows me now and knows the real me
These clothes is filthy
A lot of things to take to the grave for when I'm buried with self-pity
Ask the Lord to forgive me for what I carry with me
Learn your name and lots of things at a young age
Grab this list of things to say
I'm manifesting my own fate
Losing this little faith I got left
Pray for myself until this self is laid to rest
It's not coincidence all the spirits I met
All the places I left
All my surroundings I kept
To live a life of regret and start to feel the effects
Of this life that I live while trying to keep my respect
My skin covered with chills
My eyes as low as my morale
Slowly losing my mind
Can't get this weight off my shoulders
Love the ones I hold close
I feel alone and I'm lost
Question why I exist
These nightmares in my sleep and when I can't fall asleep
Because these feelings is real
Question how I really feel, cause I don't know where I'm at
My peace is under attack and I'll do whatever it takes
To numb the pain and make it go away
So if I die Ima make sure to smile
No longer count the days, it's been a while
A change of heart, my demons smile, they started hanging out
Since I was a child, people changed and never stuck around
I'm still the same child
It's scary how the mirror knows me now and knows the real me
These clothes is filthy
A lot of things to take to the grave for when I'm buried with self-pity
Ask the Lord to forgive me for what I carry with me
If God says it's my time I'm getting all that's to my name
I can't waste mine
Living in the back of my mind with these feelings in contradiction to this lifestyle
In where I belong in relation to the spirits inside that never die
The pain's rooted with these emotions in the back of my mind
Besides, all to surface will make you lose what's left
And now the weight's on my chest from things I'll never forget
These situations will have you so convinced you no longer try to resist
What comes in life and all the things it consists of
I'm running out of love for these people that bleed the same blood
It's self-love and self-hatred that leaves you in bed sedated
Surround myself on occasion
In the same and different places for a conversation
Pray my soul awakens
I walk around paranoid of the sounds
My eyes look around
No longer count the days, it's been a while
A change of heart, my demons smile, they started hanging out
Since I was a child, people changed and never stuck around
I'm still the same child
It's scary how the mirror knows me now and knows the real me
These clothes is filthy
A lot of things to take to the grave for when I'm buried with self-pity
Ask the Lord to forgive me for what I carry with me