Never thought
That I'd return to this format
From treating tarmac's like a doormat
And caffe's as floormats
My heart's where the auxiliary cord's at
And home is whatever space the wifi
Reconnects + restores at
It used to be just scribble/record that
But different now
It's funny how the distance can add to clarity vision, now
I've always seen better from distance
But the instance of being far removed from my instincts' been meticulous
I've had my breakdowns + my meltdowns
From building people up to even letting myself down
A self crowned ruler in the valley of dark night of the soul
Ground mountains that I made out of molehills into coal
Pound pressure from the crisis of existential refinement
To diamonds
To prisms for laser cutting designing
My life in an image divine within its timing
Just so I could get back to rhyming,
At a time when
Words purged certainly cut cords of complacency
When mirror doppelgängers of past doubt we're replacing me
And getting self closer to dreams stiff arm + spacing me
Its fourth down + inches, I'm inching to get adjacent
See the goal post move
As the wind blows
It isn't set
All it clearly means
This level I haven't finished yet
I could get a check
Or go check myself in a clinic
Or get serious + surgical
Just like at the beginning
Where the winning wasn't focused
The focus was on the form
When the form wasn't formula
Just a formula for
A way to hide from the Hyde of my higher being
Informed by fear of being heckled, the Jekyll projected forth
Through the names that I conjured + forced into the consciousness
Powered by obnoxiousness, gravity, + accomplishments
All the skill I carried in spades, afraid to acknowledge it
I chose to hideaway, not to honour it
And honest, it
Just got too tiring not to just, be
Since I've always Been, everything
That I've tried to be, might as well see
Stepping back to basics
Stepping into my truth
Led to stepping out like Lincoln
Assassination in booth
Like a penny with hole in it
I'm holding it
Hopeless
Just give me a whole minute
Or maybe not...
Or maybe not