Jay C - Confession Lyrics

I can't shake the feeling that all of you just see my faults
How am I still slipping down when there's nowhere left to fall
I'm so f*cking tired of crying in the mirror
I'm so f*cking done with wishing we were nearer
They tell us we're confused but we've never been clearer
They watched it all unfold but missed the bigger picture
Acting like we had a say in the matter
But it was always coursing through our veins
And we're just dying to breathe
But they would rather watch us suffocate
Though it might seem like I'm just barely guessing for 20 years this shit has had me stressing
You never knew cause I was good at hiding
Used to keep me up, but I'm too tired to fight it
No going down...
I dropped out of school when I was only 21
I wouldn't recommend that move but I had finally had enough
I was sick and tired of living like my life was done
So scared of checking out that I could never own a gun
I'm so f*cking done with living everyday in pain
Cause since I woke up with that aching I have never been the same
There were way too many nights I tried to numb it all away.
But I'd just wake up in the morning, surprised to find that nothing changed
So I started chasing views singing in my kitchen
Taught myself how to produce so that you all could listen
From the days of middle school I was always dreaming bigger
It just took a little while for me to pull the trigger
Acting like we had a say in the matter
But it was always coursing through our veins
And we're just dying to breathe
But they would rather watch us suffocate
It's been many years since you first felt the passion
But she always needs you reaching for perfection
She's always pointing me in 12 directions
Always got me jumping to the right connections
Tried our hardest to fit into their roles
Made our beds there but never felt like home
Cause we had a different drive
And it was always coursing through our veins and were just trying to breathe
But they would rather watch us suffocate
In 20 years I never felt a blessing so I put my bible back up on the dresser
All your thoughts and prayers seem like an empty lesson
While your preaching peace holding that Smith in Wesson
I know it might seem like I'm just barely guessing
But for 20 years this shit has had me stressing
I don't imagine that I'll go to heaven
You won't find me in church but this is my confession
No you won't find me in church but this is my confession