4:44 Video (MV)

Do I find it so hard
When I know in my heart
I'm letting you down everyday
Letting you down everyday
Why do I keep on running away?

Look, I apologize, often womanize
Took for my child to be born
See through a woman's eyes
Took for these natural twins to believe in miracles
Took me too long for this song
I don't deserve you, I harass you out in Paris
Please come back to Rome, you make it home
We talked for hours when you were on tour
Please pick up the phone, pick up the phone
Said: "Don't embarrass me," instead of "Be mine"
That was my proposal for us to go steady
That was your 21st birthday, you mature faster than me
I wasn't ready, so I apologize
I've seen the innocence leave your eyes
I still mourn this death, I apologize for all the stillborns
'Cause I wasn't present, your body wouldn't accept it
I apologize to all the woman whom I
Toyed with you emotions because I was emotionless
I apologize 'cause at your best you are love
And because I fall short of what I say I'm all about
Your eyes leave with the soul that your body once housed
And you stare blankly into space
Thinkin' of all the time you wasted it, on all this basic shit
So I apologize

I'm never gonna treat you
I'm never gonna treat you like I should

I apologize, our love was one for the ages and I contained us
And all this ratchet shit and we more expansive now
Meant to cry and die alone in these mansions
Or sleep with our back turned
We're supposed to vacay 'til our backs burn
We're supposed to laugh 'til our hearts stop
And then we end a space with a dark stop
And let love light the way
Like the men before me, I cut off my nose to spite my face
I never wanted another woman to know
Something about me that you didn't know
I promised, I cried, I couldn't hold
I suck at love, I think I need a do-over
I will be emotionally available if I invited you over
I stew over what if you over my shit?

I'm never gonna treat you
I'm never gonna treat you like I should

And if my children knew, I don't even know what I would do
If they ain't look at me the same
I would prob'ly die with all the shame
"You did what with who?"
What good is a ménage à trois when you have a soulmate?
"You risked that for Blue?"
If I wasn't a superhero in your face
My heart breaks for the day I had to explain my mistakes
And the mask goes away and Santa Claus is fake
And you go online and see
For Blue's tooth, the tooth fairy didn't pay

I'm never gonna treat you like I should