You can't catch every train
Some of them elude you
Or walk in every field
Or tread every path
A comic always smiles
A dancer never trips
A singer hits his note
But I can't be a star
My physique's all wrong
I never felt the part
Now I just sing along to
Records that I wish I was on
I want a dressing room
I want a roadie
A great big mixing desk
And then I'd be a star
No more skint old me
I'd have big boodle
Loads of flash clothes
And loads and loads of
But I'm not a big pop star
I play the pub on Tuesdays
It pays for drinks and fags
And gives me some small amusement