Edward and Tubbs own a local shop
In Royston Vasey
They feel superior to anyone
Who's not from there
A Spanish lad called Sergio
Popped in the local shop
Looking for some scran
And a telephone
There's nothing for you here,
Nothing
This is a shop for local people
Plenty of local food
Tubbs didn't know that the products
Displayed in their shop
Actually came from anywhere
But Royston Vasey
Nothing is local in that shop
Just the shop itself
Not even Edward knew that
And he said
There's nothing for you here,
Nothing
This is a shop for local people
Full of local food
We want no trouble here, said Edward
While loading his gun
You're not gonna steal my wife
And my precious things
We are gonna take back control
Local means local
Come on Tubbs Get undressed
Bang bang bang