44 Bars, Pt. 2 Video (MV)

I've been in this game for a minute now
Life's been throwing curves I steady be trying to swing it now
Win it now, looking pass grateful this the division now
Trying to hit it out the park but I'm just hitting fouls
Let me clarify, look at your surrounding
See everyone is elevating but you steady grounded
Look at your goals thinking you ain't good enough?
If you're listening and relate, well that makes two of us
Yeah
And these are the thoughts running in my head
Feel I'll just keep it to myself nobody wants to hear
Thinking about it puts me in depression
Never second guess I just pretend that it's not even there
And I know it isn't healthy keeping feelings bottled up I don't try
To keep them I just end up putting on a smile like I'm fine
Behind closed doors in my room, bed side as I cry
I can't show people my feelings as if I'm weak but I'm tired
Don't agree that if I cry that makes me less of a man
That to me sounds so ignorant
That to me ain't a difference
That ain't something that's different
Can't keeping faking just got to be man enough to admit it
Got to face the fact still struggle with anxiety
Overthinking in my mind a lot, it's like varieties
Sometimes I don't know what I should believe
Thinking everyone I care about will up on me and leave
And I know I'm not alone I just remained to be quiet
People going through the same but they struggle in private
It's a battle in my mind that kept me to be silent
Worried bout what they could think of me I'm facing that giant
I put it all on the table now
God is greater than anything I proclaim
Beats the highs and the lows his love will remain the same
Got it tatted on my wrist to remind me how far I came
Ain't saying this out of pity, been thinking and just reflecting
I'm trying to be a voice for the people who can't express it
The people in this season who steady struggle believing
Pray you hear and receive it
Man I couldn't believe it
Felt alone and abandoned, love remained to be widest
I learned that when it's a test is when the teacher's most silent
Never left nor forsake me
Trials tried to just shake me
My life a moment was shaky but I remained in the safety
Though I ain't understand, I hope you listening too
I figured maybe it happened to I can relate to you
Don't give up just keep going, though you can't comprehend
God is steadily faithful and there's a light in the end
And yo this may be off topic but need it off my chest
Something heavy in my heart that I need to address
Ayo Isaac if you listening I need to say sorry
When your moms died I know you need comfort the hardest
When I prayed about it, God always put you in mind
And I was selfish to ignore, ended blaming on time
Not going to lie, can't deny, man it steadily haunts me
I be having dreams about it and it steadily taunts me
This thing happened a couple years ago I still feel the strife
Who'd a known that I'll regret it for the rest of my life
There's days I wake up and cry
Usually keep it to myself but I'm just sick and I'm tired
Man I knew it was God's will when someone pulled me aside
At church and told me God had put it in their heart to come find
Me and tell me bout you,
Should have left and went and found you
Sorry that I let you down too
Who'd a known the consequences that this would amount too
Last time we spoke you were rapping like tech nine
Pray you doing fine
Missing all of them times you the homie
Sincerely apologize
Though you might think we different, we're the same in his eyes and that's real