And lo, the Lord said unto the Nephites:
+
"I know you're really depressed,
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What with all your AIDS and everything
+
But there is an answer in Christ."
+
You see? This book can help us!
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I just told a lie
+
No, wait, I didn't lie
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I just used my imagination
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And it worked!
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You're making things up again, Arnold (But it worked, Dad!)
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You're stretching the truth again and you know it
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Don't be a Fibbing Fran, Arnold (Joseph Smith?)
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Because a lie is a lie (It's not a lie!)
+
You're making things up again, Arnold (Oh, conscience!)
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You're taking the holy word and adding fiction!
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Be careful how you proceed, Arnold
+
When you fib, there's a price
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Ehh, this it bullshit!
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The story I have been told is that the way to cure AIDS
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Is by sleeping with a virgin
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I'm going to go and rape a baby!
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What?! Oh my-no! You can't do that! No!
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Why not?
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Because that is definitely against God's will!
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Says who?
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Where in that book of yours does it say anything about sleeping with a baby, huh? Nowhere!
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Uhhhh, behold!
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The Lord said to the Mormon prophet Joseph Smith "You shall not have sex with that infant!"
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LO! Joseph said: "Why not, Lord? Huh? Why not?"
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And the Lord said, "If you lay with an infant, you shall...burn in the fiery pits of Mordor!"
+
Really?
+
Uh-huh... Uh-huh!
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"A baby cannot cure your illness, Joseph Smith.
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I shall give unto you... a frog!"
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And thus: Joseph laid with the frog, and his AIDS was no more!
+
Ohhhhh!
+
You're making things up again, Arnold
+
You're recklessly warping the words of Jesus!
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You can't just say what you want, Arnold! (Come, on, Hobbits!)
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You're digging yourself a deep hole!
+
I'm making things up again, kind of
+
But this time, it's helping a dozen people
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It's nothing so bad because this time
+
I'm not committing a sin just by making things up again, right? (No!)
+
Elder Cunningham, you have to stop him!
+
What? What is it?
+
Gotswana is going to cut off his daughter's clitoris!
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Huh?
+
This is all very interesting
+
But women have to be circumcised if that's what the General wants!
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No, doing that to a lady is definitely against Christ's will!
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How do you know? Christ never said nothin' 'bout no clitoris!
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Yes! Yes, he did!
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In ancient New York, three men were about to cut off a Mormon woman's clitoris
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But, right before they did, Jesus had
+
Boba Fett turn 'em into frogs!
+
Frogs?
+
You mean like the frogs that got f*cked by Joseph Smith?
+
Right! Right! Like those frogs!
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For a clitoris is holy amongst all things, said he!
+
You're making things up again, Arnold (We're learning the truth!)
+
You're taking the holy word and adding fiction! (The truth about God!)
+
Be careful how you proceed, Arnold (We're going to paradise!)
+
When you fib, there's a price!
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Who would have thought I'd have this magic touch?
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Who'd have believed I could man up this much?
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I'm talking, they're listening, my stories are glistening
+
I'm gonna save them all with this stuff! (Ooooh la)
+
You're making things up again, Arnold (Elder Cunningham!)
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You're making things up again, Arnold (Holy prophet man!)
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You're making things up again, Arnold (Our savior!)
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You're making things up again
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Hmmm, up again, making things, you are
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Arnold
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