Joshua Idehen - Mum Does the Washing Lyrics

The world according to your mum doing the washing
Capitalism, your mum does the washing, you pay her a dollar
You get her to do your mate's washing, your mate pays you fifty dollars
Communism, your mum does the washing, you do the washing
Every night, you salute a picture of your dad
Socialism, your mum does the washing, you do the cooking
Everybody is happy, in theory
Feudalism, your mum does the washing and pays you tax
Colonialism, you barge into your mum's room, claim you discovered
Your mum's room, dump all your dirty clothes on the floor
Fascism, your mum does the washing, and you are obsessed with her nose
Liberalism, you watch your mum do the washing
And you feel really, really bad
"Something must be done" you say
Something may or may not get done

Libertarianism, your mum does the washing, you believe you did the washing
Religion, your mum does the washing, you thank god
Atheism, your mum does the washing
You make a twelve-part YouTube video demanding peer-reviewed evidence
That she did, in fact, do the washing
Zionism, you shoved your mum into the washing machine
And the spinning made her dizzy and that dizziness made her vomit
And you point to that vomit and call it antisemitism
Americanism, your mum does the washing, it's in the constitution
End of discussion

Mansplaining, your mum does the washing you tell her how best
To do the washing, you have never done the washing
Same-sex marriage, your mums do the washing
Patriarchy, your mum doesn't exist, your washing is mysteriously done
TERFism, your mum doesn't want your other mum doing the washing
Because of like, genitals and stuff
Polling, there is a seventy perfect chance
You will do the washing on Saturday night, come Sunday morning
It was one-hundred percent done by your mum,
Africanism, you go to benny's house, Benny's mum does the washing
You ask your mum why she doesn't so the washing
You do not survive the night

Feminism, your mum insists you grow up and do your own washing
White feminism, your mum hired a woman of color to do the washing
Male feminism, the one time I did the washing
I told everyone I did the washing, I blogged about it
Bragged about it, took a selfie, Insta story, went on TV
Won an Oscar, went on Fortnite, did a dance, I am an ally, #metoo
Egalitarianism, the one time you did the washing
Is proof it's all equal and no one needs feminism anymore
Hip-hop, everyday I'm hustling, everyday I'm hustling
When I bring the basket, my mum puts the washing in
Narcissism, you look good in the clothes your mum washed
Surrealism, the washing does your mum