I think once I took my first Vicodin, it was just like, this feeling of, "Ah"
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You know, like everything was not only mellow, but didn't feel any pain
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It just didn't, it just kind of numbed things
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I don't know at what point exactly it started to be a problem
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I just remember likin' it more and more
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People tried to tell me that I had a problem
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I would say, "Get that f*ckin' person out of here, I can't believe they said that shit to me
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They know nothin' about my f*ckin' life, are they out of their f*ckin' mind?"
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I'm not out there shootin' heroin
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I'm not out there f*ckin', you know, puttin' coke up my nose
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I'm not smokin' crack"
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You're struggling with the argument of
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Do you have a problem, or do you not have a problem?
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Can you control it, or can you not?
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And I literally thought I could control it
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You're taking things that people are giving you that
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You don't even know what the f*ck they are
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They look like a pill
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And they look, they're shaped like something that you take, so you take it, you know?
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Xanax, Valium, tomato-tomato
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You know what I mean? It's the same thing
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It's all in the same family, f*ck it, take it
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Had I had got to the hospital about two hours later, I would've died
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My organs were shutting down, my liver, kidneys, everything
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They were gonna have to put me on dialysis, they didn't think I was gonna make it
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My bottom was gonna be death, within a month, I had relapsed
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And shot right back up to the same amount of pills that I was taking
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I remember just walking around my house and thinking every single day, like
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I'm gonna f*cking die
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Like, I'm, I'm lookin' at my kids, and I need to be here for this
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Coming off of everything, I literally was up twenty-four hours a day for three weeks straight
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And I mean not sleeping, not even nodding off for a, a f*cking minute
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Like, I was literally just up, like, looking at the TV
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I had to regain motor skills, I had to regain talking skills
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It's been a, a learning process, like, it's been, I'm growing
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I just couldn't believe that anybody could ever be naturally happy
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Or naturally function, or be just enjoying life in general
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Without being on something
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So, I would say that to, to anybody that it, it does get better
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You know? It just, it does
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