Julien Baker - Mental Math Lyrics

Read it in a book once, don't remember where
If you're happy in a dream, it has to count for somethin'
Cursin' at the sun, you taught me not to swear
You ask if I get worse and I say, "Dammit, you can bet"

Hangin' on a ledge outside of your house
Tryin' not to freak out, starin' at the ground
Doing math in my head, how far is it down?
Not too good to beg for you to try to talk me down

You say you never had a good night's sleep
Any of the nights you spent with me
I ask if it'd be better when I leave and then regret it
Maybe if I were a little patient
But I never learned the virtue in waitin'
It's too late anyway, to take it back

'Cause I have a lot to say
And never in the right way
And if I could just explain myself again
Oh, if I could fix you first
Tell me about what hurts
And try not to make it worse than it already is
'Cause I have a lot to say
But never in the right way
And if I could just explain myself again