KAMO - In My Head Lyrics

Most days go by and I spend them in my head
Late nights I stay awake thinking too much, toss and turning in my bed
And I stay quiet, sometimes its harder to forget the things that are unsaid
I swear it feels like peace is one of those things I wont find again
And if that's the case I'm fed up looking for the bright side
Don't know if I'm happier listening to your dark truth or a white lie
I mean if it helps then it helps, you're the drug I'm addicted to I'm walking on this fine line
You've seemed to have found your happy place, why is it so hard for me to find mine
Why is it so hard for me to find mine

You said you would show me the way
F*ck it I've got nothing left to say
But you run through my mind all day
I have to jog your memory
Just so you think of me and still you push me away
And I get it I'm a train wreck
But you ruined the tracks and still I told myself to stay
Even if I knew then what I know now, I'd still feel the same as today
Because I'd never want to give up, that makes one of us
Love can be scary, maybe that's what were running from
I told you id fight for you, it's clear I haven't done enough
It's supposed to be 50/50, it felt like 99 to 1
And now that you're up and gone admittedly I'm empty
Feeling like the world is against me
Insecurities, they begin kicking in
And it's got me wondering what you want if it isn't me

It's so easy for you to forget me
Like we never had history
Like I wasn't there when you needed me
Like we weren't friends 'fore anything
Like I didn't do my best to give you everything
Like you didn't make me feel like I was second string
Like I never even struggled with my self esteem
You were always beautiful on the outside
But on the inside it's a different thing
And I'd never ask you for sympathy
Just your reciprocity, you're killing me
I thought you were gonna be my remedy
I guess I expected you to be real, since I gave you the realest me
I didn't think it would ever get to this level
You got me questioning myself, wondering why I'm not better
I stare at myself In the mirror and hate this fun house reflection
I was a broken person already, you worsened the wreckage
You hurt me and vanished
I'm searching for answers
While burning myself
Internal with the words of your message
Deserted and stranded
And cursed from a blessing
I'm learning my lesson
Surely I'm destined, slowly, to start moving on

Been drowning in my sorrows, luckily now its lukewarm
Guess this is what it took to see each others true form
Abusing heart and mind like I'm fighting two wars
It's driving me insane so I'm finding a new course
But I still love you and I hate that I do
I could never trust you again, it's sad but it's true
It doesn't matter anymore, I didn't matter to you
And maybe that's because you already had someone new
I'm not the type to play games that's a match imma lose
I don't want to be alone but this is what I've got to choose
Trying to move on, I'm followed by the thought of you
The painful happiness that I have is 'cause I'm through

And as days go by, I spend them in my head
Still staying up late nights thinking too much, toss and turning in my bed
I can't stay quiet, sometimes its harder to forget the things that are unsaid
I swear it feels like peace is one of those things I don't understand