KS - POT OF GOLD Lyrics

If I had it my way them boy there wouldn't see the light of day
But how can I say that when God grants me mercy and grace
My dad admitted addiction, slow steps is better than none
Point of view is powerful cause he's a hero to my son
My dead cousin visited me in my dream, I said 'please stay long
I was supposed to show her my songs
But the moment I turned around to get my laptop she was gone
Ironic cause one minute she was alive and the next minute she was not
I'm talking to Zeddy on the block, he said anger's getting on top
When you're trying to move forward in life there's always a roadblock
And most of the times we hold on to things of the past
We can't rewind the clock so it's better to just let it go
For our own sake, and our future kids sake
Shaq got the courage to rebuke my parents for their ways
And he's not even saved so how come I ain't got the words to say
I get lazy or caught in my own weight, I need to change
I'm self righteous, I can't blame the lack of guidance
I'm older now I'm wiser, I grew up suffering in silence
Now I send prayers and let God's will be decided
I used to wonder why I'm wired the way I'm wired
But I'll be asking all day
I grew up playing where there was no ball games
I grew up 15 man in the hallway
To me and myself alone on the court day
Still got a smile on my face always
Cause one thing about Kay that smile just can't break
I never knew how dark my blood was
Till I cut deep beneath the surface
There was something different about that Sunday service
I'm feeling convicted, Pastor speaking about forgiveness
There's certain places I felt pain and I haven't been back since
I closed my eyes and now I'm driving so close on the cliff
I look back in the rear view mirror, see myself as a kid
Then I lost control of the whip and I slipped
Falling through the sky but God is gracious
Cause he granted me wings
I open my eyes and they're teary
The inner me fighting the inner me
That's why I get weary
The younger me masked with insecurities
The confidence a facade, his eyes are mirage
I forgive me
I'm drowning in the depths of my sorrows
The moments I got baptised I should've let all go
He told me not to worry about tomorrow
So why am I still anxious
I see the rainbow
But this greedy heart still wants the pot of gold
KS