Lil Dicky - My D!ck Sucks Lyrics

Hold up, hold the f*ck up
Ain't you the YouTube rapper with the small dick and all that?
L.D.
A.k.a Grip
Nah, no, not Grip
Well, I do have the game in a, in a grip

My dick sucks, my dick sucks
My dick sucks, f*ck
My dick sucks, my dick sucks
My dick sucks, f*ck

Ayy, girl, ayy, girl
Ayy, girl, what you tryna say, girl? (Ayy)
When you see my dick, you may hurl (ugh)
But I'm still kinda hot like May, girl (hot)
Whoa, girl, whoa, girl
I'm just tryna let you know, girl (woo)
My dick sucks for show, girl (sucks)
But I make up for that like
Even if my dick is shoddy (sucks)
It sit there like it's gawdy
And it do good work like Gandhi
And I might grow more like Bronny
Probably not, got bitches in the lobby (still)
Their body language obvi' (sex)
If five inches throw over, under
I'm underdog like Rocky
They don't care 'bout my cock (no)
I could use a pussy mop dDrench, whoa)
On the radio like cops (roger)
She saw me and went in shock (oh my God)
Technically I'm unemployed (oh)
But I'm pretty sure I'm going to work (work)
Stacking paper like a clerk (work)
I got the Times writing blurbs (work)
Y'all washed like shirts
Kid been balling like Nerf
They f*ck with my quirk (damn, wait)
You see that girl over there? (Yup)
She hope that I flirt (it'll mak her day)
A-list actors first dates
How I got it popping on Earth Day
Ever since my surgery since first grade
I'm yelling, yelling

My dick sucks, my dick sucks
My dick sucks, f*ck (f*ck)
My dick sucks, my dick sucks
My dick sucks, f*ck

John's gone
John's gone
John's gone
We put John in the ground today
As I rap this song, he looks down on me
I'm just not, like, naturally, like, a rapper
Like I need to go to another place, to like do that
(You gotta tap out of the David Burd)
Yeah, I don't know, it's like why do I need to escape reality?
But my reality is, like, good
I don't know, I just think even when my reality is good
I think too much about what's not perfect about that reality