Ladies and gentlemen
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Introducing, the penis song.
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(Oh no he didn't)
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(Honk a dick)
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This is my penis song
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I wish that I had a bigger shlong
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One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
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One of those porno king kong dongs
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Check it out
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I wish my dick was bigger, I can admit it
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I'm above average on inches but I want a damn double digit
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If I had a big ol' cock what would I do?
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I'd probably go to Florida and show it Katrina and screw
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Get buck naked and start streaking at my school
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And get arrested but at least the girls would be impressed
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With my third leg and, and then I'd go to a keg and
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Do a keg stand, get drunk and do the running man
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With no clothes on just to show off
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My dick's bigger than yours when mine is cold and soft
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Haha, oh yeah I forgot that's not really the cock that I have
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I went out and party-bagged 'em and quickly opened the package
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And it fit me like Kriss Kross's old school starter jackets
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Trying to convince myself like, "Size doesn't matter, "
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Anyways I'd probably just put it on backwards cause I mean
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I know that god made us all different and special
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But shit did he really have to invent lopsided testicles?
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I don't have them I just feel bad for the like you know the guys with like
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Their left one hangs like lower than the right, kinda like a lazy eye like on your balls
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I mean I don't know, I just feel bad
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This is my penis song
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I wish that I had a bigger shlong
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One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
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Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along
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Yo ladies
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Yeah?
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Ladies!
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Yeah?
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Do you want a guy with an average dick?
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Hell no
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Then- wait you don't?
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No you honkey dick
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Okay that's cool, no that's fine
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I promise, I'm so self conscious
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That's why you never see me skinny dippin' in August
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Always walkin' around with my hands in my pockets trying to pump blood into my guy Alfonso
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I mean, goddamn I don't think you girls understand
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I've had a complex since that song Short Short Man
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And even though girls have told me that I'm big when I watch a porno I feel like a little kid
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I mean, let's take Ron Jeremy
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Now if a girl sees him she'll compare him to me
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And every MC in hip hop has got a huge cock
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Or at least talks about it in every song that they've got
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I mean, shit
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If I was really hung I'd make a whole album called Me and My Dick
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With interludes of all the girls that I'd been with
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And talk about my package and multiple orgasms
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'Cause all that I see is that size does matter
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We got Enzite, penis pumps surgery to Viagra
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But when it all adds up you can't really change it
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I'm not a porno star I just gotta face it
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You know, what can I do
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This song goes out to like all the like little bit above average dudes
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So like all the small dudes, medium dudes but all you big dudes stop
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This is my penis song
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I wish that I had a bigger shlong
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One that was quite a bit more thick and way more long
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Fellas if ya'll feel me sing along
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