Many things arrived in the months that followed
Attachment theory made sense
But it was hard to swallow
Of course grief arrived earliest
Took all the space it needs
Demanded my patience
I swam, I swam so much
I walked, I walked all night
I climbed, I paddled
I moved until I felt settled
Couldn't eat for the first time
Couldn't think, I was on fire
Only thing I could do right
Was to stay with the feeling and not fight
Fighting hard to have you back was not the answer
Forcing your face out of my head was not the answer
All those miserable dates I had were not the answer
Getting f*cked by the Manhattan skyline was not the answer
Baby it sucked but it brought me the answers
Never have I felt true joy before I met this grief
Never have I felt my body so real before I saw you leave
Grief is the price of love
I'm not ashamed anymore of how I cried
That first month
It took courage to be that raw
Next to your indifference
But my love, I don't need to erase you
I don't even know what they mean when they say I should move on
I don't need eternal sunshine or a spotless mind
I'm just thankful for having loved
And having been loved back so deep
It changed everything
I'd do it again
All over again
Fighting hard to have you back was not the answer
Forcing your smile out of my head was not the answer
Staying in touch with you was not the answer
It was terrible how you would take a whole day before you answered
Baby it sucked but it brought me the answers
Never have I felt anything before I met this grief
Never have I felt my body so real before I saw you leave
Don't miss out
Book right now
For the journey of a lifetime, lifetime
A stolen week
A distant beach
For miles and miles
You kiss my neck
My eyes your lake
It's who we are
It's what we're made of
In the depths of my dark brown gaze
And you are
You are
You are
You are
Here
Here
And me
I'm here
I'm here