MC-Coy - Street Smarts Lyrics

I ain't finna tell you about my street smarts
I might even rap for the beat starts
Sold drugs but I never got a G-card
Girl stays down cuz she says I'm a sweetheart
Yeah, and I don't even know if she means it
If she doesn't then I guess it's a secret
Yeah we had a little talk and we came to the agreement
That she was gonna leave me if I don't get achievements
Now you understand where my life's at
Yeah people always wonder how I write that
It's a sad life now I gotta fight back
Still I gotta know if I'm going down the right path
But I always think I'm lost in my headspace
Yeah I haven't written anything in 10 days
And at the end of the day I just hate myself
But I guess I'm okay when I get paid
Yeah but I don't really think that money ever gonna fix this
Three days a week I just wanna see my wrist slit
Let me to try to clarify I even made a hit list
But I'm the one who's on it now you see that I'm the victim
Still I think I'm done bringing guns in the street
No fun when the drum just jumps and repeats
And I don't give a f*ck if the pump doesn't squeeze
I'm drunk on a bunk bed hung with the sheets
Everything you say that you would do I do it worse, like
How you gonna kill me if I would do it first?
Said I beat the odds but, I ain't meeting God and
I don't think I'd see him if I ever went to church
I thought it was fake when I was eight
When my grandpa died and my dad walked out
Yeah and I ain't even sayin that I'm straight
Cuz the pain still there and it all comes out
Yeah I just wanna make an escape
So I take another pill and it all comes down
Yeah now I got my face in the grave
I don't wanna be here I might just drown
Yo this is how I felt on a Thursday
And it's crazy it ain't even been the worst day
Said I'm trapped in my head but I'm safe in the workplace
Sad on a bad day and great with the wordplay
This is what I'm doin on the daily
Yeah it's wild ain't nobody gonna pay me
And I had to go therapy so I don't think I'm crazy
But now I'm taking meds I don't know if they can save me
Doctor tryna tell me what I should do
Yeah but lately I been thinking what would Sug do
But I never been a tough guy, I never even claimed it
So tell why the f*ck I'd wanna shoot you?
Yeah I only held a gun if I aimed it me
Said I'm crazy as f*ck want the pain to release
But I know that I can't so I stay and I grieve
Cuz if I don't get better my brother will see
Can't have that now can I?
Nah man it's deeper than that
Now I'm drinking daily just to cover up my problems but it prolly isn't good for me to do
And I got a lot of issues that I don't like to talk about but everything I'm tellin' you is true
But I gotta get away from it my head is thinking thoughts, and I feel it in my heart and get attached
Yeah and I don't even talk about it with my f*ckin' parents but I'm happy when I'm playin them a track
Yeah this how I feel I'm addicted
Pain is a drug I'm conflicted
Cuz when I feel pain I don't even feel shame just
Gimme that shit and I'm lifted
Yeah gimme that shit and I'm lifted
Let me feel pain and I'm lifted
Gimme that shit and I'm lifted
Let me feel pain and I'm lifted