Neutral Milk Hotel - Prank Call Lyrics

Phone message: For hot girls, press zero now. And if something comes up while you're waiting, hold tight. Please wait

Phone operator: Morning, would you like to speak to a girl?

Jeff: Hello, um, I would like to have a little bit of phone sex please

Operator: what is your name?

Jeff: My name's David. I'm not being charged to talk to you am I?

Operator: No

Jeff: All right. I mean you seem like a nice guy but I thought I'd like to talk to a girl. Ha, you know?

Operator: How do you wish to pay for this?

Jeff: Well, uh, what would be my billing options, sir?

Operator: Visa, Mastercard, check

Jeff: Jack? What would Jack-

Operator: Check

Jeff: Oh, oh, check. All right. Visa, Masterc- well, I got me a Visa card, sir

Operator: Okay, what is your phone number?

Jeff: All right, well, let me find my damn Visa. You want my number, sir?

Operator: One of the girls can call you back

Jeff: Oh, I see, I see. Well, now you don't need my full name do you?

Operator: Yes I do

Jeff: Oh . . . well . . .

Operator: As well as your address

Jeff: Oh, well, see, I wouldn't want my wife to find out about this, see. She's out of town now but you know y'all wouldn't be sending me no pornographic pictures would you?

Operator: No

Jeff: Okay. See, my wife wouldn't approve of me getting into some phone sex. Now sir, can I ask you just a couple of questions about your service?

Operator: Okay, just a moment

Jeff: All right

. . . .

Jeff: Hello? Hello, sir?

Operator: Yes, hello?

Jeff: Yes? What did you say?

Operator: What is your last name?

Jeff: Oh . . . Dunkin. You're not gonna send no pornographic pictures?

Operator: What is your number?

Jeff: Well, sir, I wanted to ask you some questions about your service

Operator: Go ahead

Jeff: First, well, you see I'm, well . . . is it pretty much anything goes?

Operator: Anything you want to talk about with the girls

Jeff: Yeah, well, I got some kinda weird things I'm into though. I kinda like, uh, like, cows. Is cows okay?

Operator: Cows?

Jeff: Yeah, I'm into cows

Operator: I don't understand

Jeff: Well, it'd be like me and her and a cow

Operator: Whatever you wanna talk about, it's okay

Jeff: That's, that's beautiful. I love America. Now my wife ain't gonna find out about this is she?

Operator: No

Jeff: Because she don't know about cows