[INTERVIEWER (spoken)]
+
Now tell me, how do you two work together?
+
[CHARLEY (spoken)]
+
Oh, may I answer that?
+
[INTERVIEWER]
+
Please
+
[CHARLEY]
+
How do we work together? Sure
+
He goes —
+
(piano keys)
+
And I go —
+
(typing)
+
(sung)
+
And soon we're humming along —
+
Hmmm-mmm
+
And that's called writing a song —
+
Hmmm-mmm
+
Then he goes —
+
(piano keys)
+
And I go —
+
(typing)
+
And the phone goes brrrring!
+
And he goes —
+
"Mutter mutter mutter mutter, yes Jerome
+
Mutter, no Jerome
+
Mutter mutter mutter mutter"
+
— That's his lawyer, Jerome —
+
"Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter, do it Jerome"
+
Click
+
"Sorry, Charley... "
+
(piano keys)
+
So I go —
+
(typing)
+
And he goes —(piano keys)
+
And I go —
+
(typing)
+
And soon we're tapping away —
+
Hmmm-mmm
+
Bzzz!
+
"Sorry, Charley... "
+
Bzzz!
+
—Secretary —
+
Bzzz!
+
— On the intercom —
+
"Yes, Miss Bizz?"
+
"It's a messenger... "
+
"Thanks, Miss Bizz
+
Will you tell him to wait?
+
Will you order the car?
+
Will you call up the bank?
+
Will you wire the coast?
+
Will you — "
+
Brrrrrring!
+
"Sorry, Charley — "
+
"Mutter mutter mutter mutter, sell the stock
+
Mutter, buy the rights
+
Mutter mutter mutter mutter mutter"
+
Bzzz!
+
"Let me put you on hold... "
+
Bzzz!
+
"Yes, Miss Bizz"
+
"It's the interview... "
+
"Thanks, Miss Bizz"
+
Will you tell him to wait?
+
Will you wire the car?
+
Will you order the coast?
+
Will you send up the bank?"
+
And the telephones blink
+
And the stocks get sold
+
And the rest of us he keeps on hold
+
And he's into making movies
+
And he's now a corporation
+
Right?
+
So I play at home
+
With my wife and kids
+
And I wait to hear the movie bids
+
And I've got a little sailboat
+
And I'm into meditation
+
Right
+
He flies off to California
+
I discuss him with my shrink
+
That's the story of the way we work
+
Me and Franklin Shepard, Inc
+
[INTERVIEWER (spoken)]
+
Now, when you do work together, I've always been curious
+
Which generally comes first — the words or the music?
+
[CHARLEY (spoken)]
+
Generally, the contract
+
[INTERVIEWER]
+
Ah, well that sounds like you think making money is a bad thing for an artist
+
[CHARLEY]
+
Money?
+
(piano keys)
+
Did I say money?
+
(typing)
+
(sung)
+
No, I like money a lot —
+
Hmmm-mmm
+
I mean, it's better than not —
+
Hmmm-mmm
+
But when it's —
+
(snort)
+
Money...
+
(snort, snort)
+
Money...
+
When you're into —
+
(snort)
+
Money...
+
And you should be —
+
(piano keys)
+
(spoken)
+
Listen, Frank does the money thing very well, but you know what?
+
Other people do it better
+
And Frank does the music thing very well
+
And you know what? No one does it better
+
(sung)
+
Still, the telephones blink
+
And the buzzers buzz
+
And I really don't know what he does
+
But he makes a ton of money
+
And a lot of it for me —
+
Right?
+
So I think "Okay,"
+
And I start a play
+
And he somehow knows
+
'Cause right away
+
It's brrrring!
+
"Hiya, buddy
+
Wanna write a show?
+
Got a great idea
+
We'll own all the rights
+
With a two-week out
+
And a turnaround
+
On the guarantee
+
Plus a gross percent
+
Of the billing clause — "
+
And there I am in California
+
Talking deals and turning pink
+
Back in business and I mean just that
+
Back with Franklin Shepard, Inc
+
Very sneaky how it happens
+
Much more sneaky than you think
+
Start with nothing but a song to sing
+
Next, you're Franklin Shepard —
+
(spoken)
+
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute
+
I'm getting in a little too deep here
+
[INTERVIEWER (spoken)]
+
Franklin, let me ask you...
+
[CHARLEY]
+
See, the thing is Frank and I are not that kind of close anymore
+
Not like we used to be
+
[INTERVIEWER]
+
And now, Frank...
+
[CHARLEY]
+
And a friendship is like a garden
+
You have to water it, you have to tend it
+
You have to care about it or you lose it
+
And I miss it, and I want it back
+
(sung)
+
Look, nothing permanent has happened
+
Just a temporary kink
+
Friendship's something you don't really lose...
+
(spoken)
+
Ladies and gentlemen don't let me lose the greatest composer any lyricist ever had
+
Phone him, write him, stop him on the street - you'll recognise him, he's the one going through his chequebook- and tell that man to get back to his piano
+
(sung)
+
Very sneaky how it happens
+
Every day you're on the brink
+
First the prizes, then the interviews —
+
Oh, my God, I think it's happened
+
Stop me quick before I sink
+
One more triumph that I can't refuse —
+
(spoken)
+
In case you didn't notice, this is my first time on TV — and my last
+
(sung)
+
No, here's the point, whatever happens —
+
Then we'll all go have a drink —
+
That's the guy I love, the fella who's
+
Inside -
+
"Mutter mutter mutter mutter
+
(spoken)
+
Quick, Jerome, get the president, there's a crazy man on my TV screen... "
+
(sung)
+
Inside —
+
Bzzz! Bzzz! Brrring! —
+
Inside Franklin Shepard —
+
Just write him care of any bank, U.S.A. —
+
Inc
+
