[ a highlighted line to view an interpretation ]
The line is a reference to the song "The Sound Of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel, and also to Nate's own dark self he fought during HOPE.
Hello darkness, my old friend (hello)
Knocking at my door again
Beggin' me to come outside
Let you back into my life
Now, usually I'd be strong enough
To lock the doors and keep 'em shut
The line might be a reference to the desperation of usually trying to be perfect, but not being able to hold up that image.
But not today, I'm desperate (desperate)
So go ahead and come on in
So go ahead and come on in
So go ahead and come on in
NF has spoken about his struggles with OCD in songs such as "Leave Me Alone" as well as in several now-deleted tweets.
OCD is worse than ever, hands are bleedin', maybe I should take the pills, don't (whoa)
Know what's goin' on with me, some days I actually think I might be schizo- (whoa)
Phrenic, prolly not, but even writin' this is makin' me begin to spiral, oh, God (oh, oh, oh)
Made a promise, told myself I wouldn't let the fear back in, but then I did, though (whoa)
In the outro of "HOPE," he was fighting with his dark self - Nate tells him, that he won't run away, while the dark side says that he probably will give up.
Told the world that I was sick of runnin', then went back to runnin', what a joke (whoa)
Disappointed, yeah, me too, I thought I finally had finally made a breakthrough, guess not (oh, oh, oh)
Nate's fears hold out their hand, gesturing him to follow, lulling him into a false sense of security, thinking they might be better this time.
It's the same song and dance, you've all seen it before
Darkness holds out his hand, then we walk to the floor
Every decision made isn't mine anymore
In the music video, NF is attached to strings on his arms, legs, and neck, just like a marionette. The control is taken by his dark self, fear, and OCD.
Like a puppet with strings, I just don't have a choice
What's the truth? What's a lie?
Help me, God, help me, Lord
Face your fears, dry your eyes
Grandma died, what's the point?
Lost the keys, lost my hope, lost my will, lost my joy
Lost a friend, lost my home, lost my faith, lost my voice
(Desperate)
Standing back, watching my mansion burn to ash while I
Hold the gas can, asking God if He started this fire
Is this what You wanted? Is this what You wanted?
Make all my hopes and my dreams come to life just to lay them to rest
Is this what You wanted? Is this what You wanted?
Give me a false sense of peace just to show me what peace really is
Is this what You wanted?
On the verge, on the edge
(Is this what You wanted?)
Petrified, scared to death
(Is this what You wanted?)
Prayin' to God, desperate
(Is this what You wanted, what You wanted?)
(Is this what You wanted?)
Hangin' on by a thread
(Is this what You wanted?)
Empty heart, nothin' left
(Is this what You wanted?)
Breakin' down, spiralin'
(Is this what You wanted, what You wanted?)
(Is this what You wanted?)
Standing back (is this what You wanted?)
NF first introduced the idea of a mansion in his music in his debut album of the same name. It represents his mind, with each room being a different trauma and memory he's still living with.
Watching my mansion (is this what You wanted?)
Burn to ash (is this what You wanted?) while I (oh, oh, oh)
(What You wanted, is this what You wanted?)
Hold the gas (is this what You wanted?) can
Asking God if (is this what You wanted?)
He started this fire (is this what You wanted, what You wanted?)
