NotKevin - Numb Lyrics

I just feel so numb
Always feel so numb
I just feel so numb
Always feeling numb

I'm acting childish
My father's living childless
Never loving life till it's night
When the powder hits
F*ck a sniff, I'll take a whiff
Until my mind begins
Erasing all the problems
That I've lived with since the age of ten
I miss my mother, want to tell that I love her
But if we get to talking there's some shit she might uncover
About my past, how I act, how I've been
Another night of empty bottles for my sins
The darkest chapter of my life is what I'm slipping in
Emptier than bottles I've been keeping my prescriptions in
Darker thoughts from a f*cker truly hopeless
Feeling sicker than an addict when he's dopeless
Thoughts of death to leave behind my truly broken past
Don't drink for fun, I drink for sleep, I never keep an empty glass
Psychotic, alcoholic mental breakdowns
F*ck rock bottom, grab a shovel, I'ma break ground
Digging deeper just to bury me alive
But am I really living? Or is life for me a lie?
I'm fine. I promise I'm just tired
While I search inside for happiness, should probably print a flyer
Advertising that I'm hurt, I need help
Someone save me cause I will not safe myself
There's a place that he reserved for me in Hell
But I'm not scared cause I've been living there since twelve

I just feel so numb
Always feel so numb
I just feel so numb
Always feeling numb

Another night, another hopeless night
Another useless fight, and another bloody knife
Lacerations on my skin to help me feel alive
Another day wasted while I'm contemplating suicide
There he goes, it's four AM, he's driving drunk again
Looking at the bottle cause he knows that it's his only friend
Doing everything he can to keep a stable path
But he's losing sight of right and wrong, it seems its conscience that he lacks
Just a menace to himself and all his family
Stealing grandmas pills and he eats them like they're candy
A dark example of a life that's slowly ending
But nobody says a thing until they find him home suspending
Then they wanna play pretend like they were always there for him
That they didn't see it coming and they always f*cking cared for him
A sick joke played upon him in the afterlife
A crowded funeral for a kid who had a lonely life
Like cries for help were crying wolf, they wouldn't listen
Now they're crying over corpses telling God they miss him
Ironic, it seems I'm hypnotic
To brokenhearted kids who've been smoking more than chronic
Gin and tonic, I prefer straight liquor
A couple lines of coke, I'm my own grave digger
Die young, you never have to worry
We all grew up too fast, people asking "What's the hurry?"

I just feel so numb
Always feel so numb
I just feel so numb
Always feeling numb

F*ck a love life, I rarely even love life
Wide awake at midnight like my room was full of flood lights
Nothing ever goes right, I just wanna end life
Gun to my head, fingers itching like some head lice
Just pull the trigger then your problems disappear for good
You tried your best to stay alive, but failed just like they said you would
Is this the life you want? Do you wanna suffer?
Just call your mother, and tell her that you love her
And put the phone down, you're never going home now
You said you hate this whole town, you'd burn the place to the ground
It's over now, nobody's gonna miss ya
It slowly fades to black and you miss your mothers kisses