Broken Video (MV)

It sucks being suicidal
Never smile never sleep
What is really up with me
Starring at my ceiling at 3 in the morning
Wondering what is really wrong with me
While I push everyone away from me
Just another case of a panic attack
Please stop my misery
Load the gun cock it back
Scream god I should be dead
Then I set it back down
When I say i'm fine It's just another lie
You don't know whats really going on in my mind
The demons just multiply
People ask if i'm fine I don't reply
Deny anyone who gets close
No one is supposed to know
I don't need no sympathy shown
This is why I need to live alone
Can't anyone see past this fake mask
Fake laughs fake smiles all of that
I guess not
That's why i go to my rappad
And talk to that
It's a lot easier
Than all this counsel crap
I don't need that
Someone to sit back and write on a notepad
Tell me I lost my wit tell me I lost my grip
Give me pills that aren't legit
They've never dealt with this
I need the past to reminisce
My phone keeps blowing up
But I can't respond to it
How much longer do I have to live with this
Love had never exist
I've lost feelings for it
No one can heal my bloody wrists

I've given up
I'm stuck with depression
Every inch of my reflection
Got me questioning my dimension
Am I to thin
Do I show to much skin
Dear god why can't I fit in
Sick of being different
Why am I so ignorant
I use to love and trust
Now it's been crushed
Left in the dust
When my ex cheat
Lowered my self-esteem
Could have put a gun to my head
Pulled the trigger and been dead
She wouldn't care
As long as she's with the next man
I was took as a joke
My hearts broke
Where do I go down this lonely road
Need to unload before the bottle explodes
Fights with the people at home
I have no control
And when the family split
I don't even wanna talk about it
No one came to visit
Everyone telling lies
This has pretty much been my life
Always gambled it with the dice
While I'm holding this knife
Who knows when i'll make another slice
No need to apologize
Sick of telling myself the same lie
I'll be fine
But the sun doesn't shine in my own mind
I've been terrorized
Cut deep with a knife
And forced to trust these lies
Sick of being in disguise
Sick of being recognized
Sick of the apologizes
Please let me be

Why did you leave me
I thought we was meant to be
But now I see you had a
Different opinion about me
You always doubted me
With all your hate pounding me
Like a stake to a tent
You went and slept on me
You got cold on me
Then the cheating D
The embarrassment I gotta tell my family
What was the problem D
Why were you mad at me
Love is never meant to be
It's just a fantasy