Orakles - Tired of Trying Lyrics

Great another night like this
Depression creeped
Can't go to sleep
Thinking bout the ex that cheat
No one really talks to me
Gun to the brain would be the easiest thing
Professional at suicide notes
Have a few just in case I go
Writing this while i'm crying
Body telling me I'm dying
I'm done trying
Wanna go to sleep
Anxiety please go away

I know I won't make it
I know I was a mistake
Nights like these I can't take
Suicide on my brain
Sick of the snakes
Family split
That was a huge hit
Another kid who's desperate
Can't get a good grip
What is a friendship
When you're scared you'll get hit
Always flinch when they walk by
Always covering up my school supplies
They don't care if I die
And that's not a lie
Sometimes I ask why do I try
When I can just say goodbye
I know i'm breathing
But I don't even feel alive
No one to hear my cries
No one to see my demise
No one to feed me the lies
No one to apologize
Don't be surprised
If I push you away
We'll talk again someday
But for now
I wanna stay in my room
Waiting for that perfect day to bloom
But for now i'm sitting in gloom

Is there a lot wrong with me
Well apparently
Wasn't good enough for my dad
Couldn't clean up his act
And that would have impacted me
I hope you're happy
Got some brothers and sisters i'll never meet
I see my ex happy
Hoping she forgot about me
Probably
I was so controlling
And any guy on her story
Would have provoked me
I couldn't control what controlled me
That's why ends had to meet
I'm sorry for being so mean
I'm sorry for being me
This is how it had to be
All because that chick had to cheat
And leave me in the dark
To let me fall apart
These demons keep coming out the dark
Don't know when depression starts
Never good with hearts
No matter how good
The chemical sparked
I'v been a mistake from the start

I'm sorry for the jealousy
I can't control this inner beast
I hope you and him live happily
And as for me
I'm still in my room
Writing to depressing beats
Need to go to bed soon
But these demons haunt me
Can never be alone
I hate the unknown
So I turn to my microphone
And work hard on a song
That no one really listens to
Or only get a couple views
I need to leave the studio