Paradox - Last Time (OG Version) Lyrics

Promised it wouldn't happen again after the accident
Got honest with my conscience and reflected on the past events
Apologized for all the lies and called on high for help
Sought that God bless the process I couldn't guide myself
Made amends with the friends and family I hurt
Managed to handle the urge's damage till it hit the fan at work
Then the crowd down in accounting asked me out to lift a glass
Convinced by whims again that this time's different than the last
Few beers at lunch to cheers the bunch, a well-deserved reprieve
Some jokes and laughs, some Cokes and Jacks, twelve thirty turns to three
Grab my coat and hat, I need to be back at the office
Catch a taxi cab, cuz I also need to be more cautious
My four o'clock is waiting patient, so I seat them quickly
Hoping they don't notice if my clothing reeks of whiskey
Aced the presentation, since I'm feeling less reserved
Plus it curbed all these frustrations that can really test my nerves
Jason from administration dropped me at my car
Figured what's the harm in briefly stopping by the bar
As I step in, comfort and anxiety are best friends
This hunger that's inside of me is dying for the question
"What'll it be? Pull up a seat"
Faithfully, that J&B is just my cup of tea
One for the road, then I'll head home for supper
Play dolls with Molly, tuck my son under the covers
Catch the last half of the fight, fall asleep beside my wife
Glance down at my glass, all that's left is some ice
Now for me it's never been the taste, but what lies underneath
A teeny glimpse of grace, a way of finding some relief
The barkeep sees it in my face and pours another drink
He knows I'll order more refills till I'm too numb to think
I know he's right and know the single light she always leaves on
I also know the words she'll greet me with like they're my theme song...
"Last time? You said that last time was the last time
Why can't you be satisfied with all that you let pass by?
Why is it so difficult for you to simply act right?
Every time you back slide, I have to be the bad guy
Last time? You said that last time was the last time
What am I supposed to say when your children ask why
The car is in the shop again and Daddy's got a black eye?
Why can't you stop when your entire life is capsized?"