PaRan - My Story Lyrics

I don't believe anymore I lost all my hope
I lost everything, only thing that stuck with me is what I wrote
Some nights when I'm alone I'm looking for a rope
Police banging on our door with guns, looking for the dope
This is not what kids are supposed to go through
But I keep thinking like, don't let your past control you
Too many fake friends never cared about my wellbeing
While a home full of drugs and violence is what I've been seeing
I put on a mask knowing things will never change
Hide all problems, tell me if you know a better way
All I want is break out of this f*cked up place I'm in
Go through life only caring 'bout mistakes I make within
Keep kicking me down I will take it in
I feel too weak to fight against it and they can sense it
I just don't wanna die with too many missed chances
Every good feeling or moment it passes
This is my story, some of my worst memories
My story, suicidal tendencies
My story, some of my worst memories
My story, listen this is my story
This is my story, some of my worst memories
My story, suicidal tendencies
My story, some of my worst memories
My story, listen this is my story
I could die right now I bet no one would give a shit
What does the darkness taste like? Pure bitterness
I had to grow up quick, was always left alone
Emergency number was always the most dialled on my phone
'Cause me and my mom were being beaten again
Even though it was him who was cheating again
I will never forget these images
But at least it taught me to burn bridges
Before it's too late, some people can ruin your life
And make you fear for your life every f*cking night
I've learned that you can't trust nobody
I grew up learning to live with no money
Eviction notice in the mailbox almost every month
Then we got kicked out, I stood there with a loaded gun
Staring at the mirror about to pull the trigger
Then I swear I heard a whisper: "Don't"
This is my story, some of my worst memories
My story, suicidal tendencies
My story, some of my worst memories
My story, listen this is my story
This is my story, some of my worst memories
My story, suicidal tendencies
My story, some of my worst memories
My story, listen this is my story
A few days ago my best friend killed herself
I couldn't stop her. Told me she just couldn't keep fighting through the pain
Since then nothing has been the same
Why do I think that I'm the one to blame
It's sad how we visit more funerals than wedding
Why are the best stories always the first to have an ending
They say the good die young and that's the f*cking truth
I'm all alone now spilling my heart out in this f*cking booth
Maybe one day make a living off of selling my tears
Selling my fears, hope you like it but please don't come near
I don't want no one to see me in this condition
And in some songs are my worst decisions written down
Maybe it's better if y'all just leave me alone
My pain goes so deep that it reaches the bones
Can you hear in my tone, I break, every smile, I fake
Get away from me, everything else could be a mistake
This is my story, some of my worst memories
My story, suicidal tendencies
My story, some of my worst memories
My story, listen this is my story
This is my story, some of my worst memories
My story, suicidal tendencies
My story, some of my worst memories
My story, listen this is my story