Paul Hansen - The Distressers Lyrics

One two three welcome to the jubilee
Four five six how you gonna get your fix
Seven eight eight now I'm feeling really great
Nine ten ten let's do it all again
Of course, you've heard of Nikola
Nikola Tesla
But have you ever heard about
Heisenbean's Distresser's
Heisenbean's Distressers
You got Captain Coffee Bean
He's a Good Guy
Drinking good and plenty
What a scene what a scene
Drunk by ten am
He's a jug head
Mad Dog twenty twenty
Matcha Man gotchya Man
Another good guy
Good looking but he's dumb
Matcha Man Matcha Man
He's got all the right moves
Super chops y'all
He'll kill you with his thumb
Now for Dr. Decaf
Meet the bad guys
Fat slob, he needs a bath
Famunda unda
His minions are sleeping zombies
No blessed caffeine
That follow his evil path
Enter Energy X
A super bad guy
A stuffed suit and he's trouble
Super poser
More phony than a hipster
Made up of tiny bubbles
Troubled bubbles
Heisenbean's created
Both good and evil
It keeps him up at night
Got to choose a side
Hope it's Captain Coffee Bean
Drunken Bean on your team
To try to make things right
Almost the end just a bit more
I thought I'd tell you about the Keur
He's a robot nine feet tall
Invented by Heisenbean
To make us all crawl
Heisenbean you better use him
For the good of mankind
Heisenbean you better use him
For the good of mankind
Heisenbean you better use him
For the good of mankind