Four walls and a roof were built around me
I tried to leave but I painted myself in a corner
The room is shrinking slowly
I can see myself disappear forever
I can't take a full breath
Without feeling this knifing pain in my chest
My lungs are aching from the overbearing presence of my anxiety
The white noise, in silence
Is drowning out the inside
I am restless, without purpose
Shutting down my mind
Can't let my strings be pulled by someone else
Will I end up the same mold
Blood that was once pure no longer runs through my veins
What generates the most pain is the thought of what I could have been
Drag out this twelve ton vessel
Neglect the numbness: it's ephemeral
Time is precious yet I'm wasting my own
Embracing the sentence that will end me
The pressure's overwhelming
And these thoughts are unforgiving
Why should I surrender my will to live for this glimpse of security
Isn't my life worth the risk despite the uncertainty
Paint a picture - Do I see myself
Look in the mirror - Am I still there
The white noise, in silence
Is drowning out the inside
I am restless, without purpose
Ultimate sacrifice
My course has come to its term
Leaving me gazing through the inanimate
Pretending everything is fine
But this ache feels permanent
I see the truth that I wasn't meant to see
Looking back as I'm pushed into the dark
I am stripped of my skin and pushed to my knees
Bearing witness to my past as I fall apart
Bearing witness to my past as I leave no mark