PrivateFuneral - Relapse Lyrics

I can't fall asleep no more, there's demons in the corner
And they're kicking down the door, I loosened up the hinges
I've been doing meditation, I still take my medication
But, the medicine ain't working for me, been retaliating on me
Walking like a zombie on the pain pills
I ain't gotta pay bills, but I'm still spending money I ain't got, it's like a treadmill

Feeling like my life is on a cycle
All my closest friends are suicidal
I used to wanna kill myself but died when I was thirteen
Started making music and my counselor was worried, but saw me getting pinned against the wall
Lately I've been dodging all the calls
I don't wanna talk to you unless you tell me sorry
Every day's the same, a different story from you, unless you want some comfort from me

I talked about you to my therapist and how you truly love me
But, it's kinda funny
I think it's kinda funny how I love you but I really hate it
I don't know what love is
How can I take care of you if I can't love myself?
Taking all the pictures off my shelf that I put up of you
Why do I put up with you?
Because of you I'm lying to myself and I promised all my friends that I wouldn't do the things I did again
I hope they can forgive me for my sins

I called you off the pain meds twice, you didn't answer
Spreading to my brain, you're like a cancer
My ex girl was a cancer, but I don't listen to the stars
If Imma be a star, I guess I'll quit before I start
I'm about to relapse cause' you're a drug to me
When you're drugging me I relax
It's a luxury I guess