Rapbaum - Raindrops (feat. lil emotional) Lyrics

Rain been falling outside but not from my eyes
It's been a year or more since I have had the strength to cry
Pain don't subside
Just compounds within me deep inside
Can't let it out so I just laugh, and then I down a shot
Think of my grandpa
So I'm drinking makers mark
Its getting dark
Not beyond these walls
Within this heart
Forget it all
The destination and journey
I been praying daily
Don't think anybody's heard me
I
Stay trepidatious
Cause I'm moving amongst mysteries
These days real life more counterfeit
Than what is on TV
Can't be me
Unless we talking bout a caption
I'm speaking on the future
But I'm living in the past tense
They
Only know the you that you let live outside your head
While other things inside instead
They not paying rent
A wise man said
Nothing cause he chose to listen
But I got distracted so I didn't
I don't know why
But it's been so hard
For me to feel the breeze
Wind been blowing
And I ain't notice
That It push on me
The reluctancy
To admit what's so obviously
Been in my way
For countless days
I Ignore reality
Persistently
Imma jus numb all the feelings I perceive
Accept drugs that I receive
Do em till I fall asleep
Relentlessly
Imma continue till i need to cease
Till the flood gates open and then finally
I start to weep
What am I really doin
Inside of this damaged human
Or is it the mind, could I rewind
See what he been through and
How is he polluted
Who had contributed
Is there retribution or
Or condemnation headed to him
If I knew the future
I could plan my movements
Program what to do and when to do it
How I knew that
It would go in my favor
Instead I'm calculating
Choices that I'm making
Dealing with consequences later