The butcher and the baker and the undertaker
The butler and the barber too
The boy without a liver and the Indian Giver
They've all got the Main Street Blues
The lovers and the lawyer and the self-employer
Were in the foyer sniffin' glue
Discussin' with the Russian who was munchin' on a muffin
All about them Main Street Blues
And it's "Oh Lordie me"
And "Oh Lordie my"
"This little town keeps bustlin' on by"
The tailor and the teller and the snowball seller
The preacher in his prison shoes
They're all tryin' to figure how to get rid of
Those awful Main Street Blues
Joan got along and moved to Catahoula
Got a house out on Johnson's bayou
She swears she'll have it made
If she can manage to evade
Those melancholy Main Street Blues
The mediocre actor left his Papa's tractor
To ride a bike down Sunset Avenue
The hacker and the slacker and the lazy linebacker
They've all got the Main Street Blues
And it's "Oh Lordie me"
And "Oh Lordie my"
"This little town keeps bustlin' on by"
The promoter's got an odor like a day old floater
And a pencil with a pad of blue
His scribbling down ways to emancipate the days
From those awful Main Street Blues.