R.E.M. - Monster Album Lyrics

I'm not king of comedy,
Grease the pig, give a squeeze (squeeze me)

Make your money with exploitation
Make it holy illumination
Say a prayer at every station
Don't forget to ask for mercy
Make your money with a pretty face
Make it easy with product placement
Make it charged with controversy
I'm straight, I'm queer, I'm bi

I'm not king of comedy,
I'm not your magazine,
I'm not your television

Make your money, make it rich
Make it young and make it quick
Make your money on the jukebox, baby,
It's pick up sticks,
Make your enemies make your moves
Make your critics fumble through
Make it smart and make it schmooze
Make it look easy

I'm not king of comedy,
I'm not your magazine,
I'm not your television,
I'm not your movie screen
I'm not commodity (all together now)
I'm not commodity
I'm not commodity

Said leave me to lay, but touch me deep,
I don't sleep, I dream
I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need

Are you looking to drive my dreams?
You here to run my screens?
You come, deliver my demons
Hooray hooray hip hip hooray
Are you coming to ease my headache?
Do you give good head?
Am I good in bed?

I don't know, I guess so
I don't sleep, I dream
I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need

I'm looking for an interruption,
Can you believe?
Some medicine for my headache
Hooray hooray hip hip hooray
I'm pitching for a new direction
Pinch me when I wake
Don't tell me my dreams are fake
You leave me to lay, you touch me deep,
I don't sleep, I dream
I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need
Leave me to lay, but touch me deep,
I don't sleep, I dream
I'll settle for a cup of coffee, but you know what I really need

I know you called - I know you called - I know you called -
I know you called - I know you called - I know you hung up my line
Star 69

I know all about the warehouse fire
I know squirrelys didn't chew the wires
3 people have my number
The other 2 were with me.
I don't like to tell-tell but I'm not your patsy.
This time you have gone too far with me.

I know you called - I know you called - I know you called -
I know you called - I know you called - I know you hung up my line
Star 69

Why'd you put your quarter down on me?
This reads like some dork inside edition hard copy.
I can't be your character witness
I can't be your alibi
Doorbell rings it's the FBI
We learned spy vs. spy
You my friend, are guilty as can be.

I know you called - I know you called - I know you called -
I know you called - I know you called - I know you hung up my line
Star 69

These words, "You will be mine."
These words, "You will be mine."
All the time.

Now fool might be my middle name
But I'd be foolish not to say
I'm going to make whatever it takes,
Ring you up, call you down, sign your name, secret love,
Make it rhyme, take you in, and make you mine.

These words, "You will be mine."
These words, "You will be mine." all the time. oh

I tripped and fell. did I fall.
What I want to feel, I want to feel it now

You know with love come strange currencies
And here is my appeal:

I need a chance, a second chance, a third chance, a fourth chance,
A word, a signal, a nod, a little breath
Just to fool myself, to catch myself, to make it real, real

These words, "You will be mine"
These words, "You will be mine." all the time. oh

These words, "You will be mine."
These words, they haunt me, hunt me down, catch in my throat, make me pray,
To say, this love's confines, oh.

You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
Blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.

If you could see yourself now baby,
The tables have turned
The whole world hinges on your swings
Your secret life of indiscreet discretions
I'd turn the screw and leave the screen,
Don't point your finger,
You know that's not my thing

You came to bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
Blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.

You've got a little worry,
I know it all too well,
I've got your number,
But so does every kiss-and-tell
Who dares to cross your threshold,
Or happens on your way,
Stop laying blame.
You know that's not my thing.

You know that's not my thing,
You came to bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
Blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
Blame, blame, blame
You bang, bang, bang, bang and bang,
It's not my thing so let it go.

You kiss on me, tug on me, rub on me, jump on me,
You bang on me, beat on me, hit on me, let go on me,
You let go on me.

Heyyyyyy, let me in.
Heyyyyyy, let me in.

I only wish that I could hear you whisper down,
Mister fisherman, to a less peculiar ground.
He gathered up his loved ones and he brought them all around
To say goodbye, nice try.

Heyyyyyy, let me in. yeah yeah yeah
Heyyyyyy, let me in. Let me in.

I had a mind to try to stop you. Let me in. Let me in.
I've got tar on my feet and I can't see.
All the birds look down and laugh at me.
Clumsy, crawling out of my skin.

Heyyyyyy, let me in. yeah yeah yeah
Heyyyyyy, let me in.
Heyyyyyy, let me in. yeah yeah yeah
Heyyyyyy, let me in.

I've got my telescope head in the haystack
I'm getting tired of your dodgeball circus act
Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark on command

Here comes that awful feeling again
Make way for monster jealousy
The strong man kicked sand into my breakfast cereal bowl
I'd spelled your name with Oatios,
He messed it, messed it, messed it, messed it up

I've got my telescope head in the haystack
I am tired of your dodgeball circus act
Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark on command

(you're mean, mean, mean)
(you tease, tease, tease me)

If I were you I'd really run from me
I'd really really wish that I were you
When I get loose I'll climb a tree
And drop a load on your head
This monster in me makes me retch, you messed it, messed it up

I've got my telescope head in the haystack
I am jealous of your dodgeball circus act
Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark
Put pepper in my coffee, I forgot to bark on command

(you're mean, mean, mean)
(you tease, tease, tease me)

Do you smell jealousy?
Do you smell jealousy, jealousy, jealousy?