Rex Orange County - Pony Album Lyrics

I had a think about my oldest friends

Now, I no longer hang with them

And I can't wait to be home again

I had a year that nearly sent me off the edge

I feel like a five, I can't pretend

But if I get my shit together this year

Maybe I'll be a ten



Help myself a little better

'Cause it's getting tiring

And I can't wait for the summer

Now, I'm gonna need a moment



I did it again, I did it again

No control over my emotions

One year on and I still can't focus

I did it again, yeah, I did it, I did it again

Twelve rounds in, fightin' solo

But nobody wins when it ends



We'll be placin' memories in frames

Invitin' people 'round to stay

And always owning up to things, to things

'Cause, after all, I guess it all depends upon

The people you choose and where you're from

If so, I've been so lucky, so far, it's outrageous

I won't complain (no)



Give myself a little credit

Since I dealt with all the pain

Yeah, I turned superhero

I'm comin' in Bruce Wayne



Yeah, I did it again, I did it again (yeah, I did it again)

But this time I took control

And turned my shit 'round

Sometimes you gotta cut a bitch out

I'm livin' again, yeah, I'm livin', I'm livin' again (I, uh-oh, yeah)

Yeah, whoa, yeah



Now, I'm safe and sound where I belong

It took all my strength to carry on

And though it's still hard work to find the words

I'm still gonna write this f*ckin' song

'Cause, after all, I guess it all depends upon

The people you choose and where you're from

Ooh-ooh
Yeah (ooh-ooh-ooh)

It's hard to make yourself believe
That it'll get better when you feel defeated
And carrying on is easier said than done
It took a while to see that I was in need of help from somebody else
But she keeps reminding me that I'm not the only one
And babe, I would have told you this was gonna happen
If I had know that it would
But now there's less time and more things that I need to say
And I'm afraid

That there will always be a part of me that's holding on
And still believes that everything is fine
And that I'm living a normal life
But until somebody sits me down
And tells me that I'm different now
I'll always be the way I always am
Oh-oh

Ooh-ooh
Yeah (ooh-ooh-ooh)

My apologies, it's such a shame
I never planned to feel this way
But the more that I try
The more I'm seeing the difference, I'm not gonna lie
And now I get to sit down
And I'm happy to admit now, I'm on my way
It seems I'm not invincible but I'm bored of the pain
And I need to explain

Yeah, there will always be a part of me that's holding on
And still believes that everything is fine
And that I'm living a normal life
But until somebody sits me down
And tells me why I'm different now
I'll always be the way I always am
Yeah, yeah

Ha-ha, woo

I might eat breakfast here before I move on
Laser lights all around me when I get the chance to get my groove on
Dancing by myself, I still take my shoes off
And ignore it 'til I feel alright
And I might get restless if I stay for too long
I would up and leave this f*cking bullshit if it meant that I could see her
Dancing to the shit that sounds nothing like me, huh?
Dancing to the shit I like

But now I'm losing my speed
Because I'm not the type of person who can handle defeat
And I'll be caught up and confused about what matters to me
Still in the same position, same time, next week
I'll be losing my speed
For sure!
But I don't like it anymore, nah
Losing my, losing my

Arm to the face, when we have to speak I usually shoegaze
And if I saw you in public, I would pretend to tie my shoelace
Just so we avoid the, "What's up-up-up?"
You'll never love me like they do, you'll never love me like she does
You, I could never commit to, I'm too fond of my own freedom
I know you're all about the checks, but boy, I don't need 'em
I think I'll get that myself
Thank you anyway (ah)
Said I'm losing my, losing my speed

I grew up, you grew down, we found out
Everything matters now (everything)
We grew up while you let yourself down
I want out

She calmed me down that night I freaked out
We stayed up, I threw up in that house
She woke up face-to-face from the bed
Two in the en-suite, one in the early
She was like eight hours ahead
Two different countries, slept in a one piece
Baby boy in full effect
And you couldn't see me, call back repeat
That's all thanks to poor connection
Fun for me, no
Most times it's a pain in the neck
I said it's not that fun, see
Everything makes me wanna quit while I'm ahead
Honestly

She wakes, we face-to-face from the bed
I wish I could be with her instead
When we speak face-to-face from the head
Things go wayward and I end up upset, but

Never had done
No, I never had, had
Ooh

Maybe we grew outward
It's true I kept the truth to myself
Now I'm nothing but a coward
And you were too busy making friends
You were occupied, I was in the shower
You were unaware I was fully clothed
And you didn't know about this
But you wouldn't even really need to know so
Continue picking flowers (mmh)
Remember why you're here, my friend
You can sit back and relax
And they'll always love you now and then
They'll always love you now and then
Always love you now and then
They'll always love you
It's true

She wakes, we face-to-face from the bed
I wish I could be with her instead
When we speak face-to-face from the head
Things go wayward and I end up upset

Let me be over there again
I wish I could be with her instead
Let me return for the night shift
I miss her like she's my only friend

My only friend, a hundred percent
I unplugged then I dipped on my friends
My world got so much smaller this year
Tell me 'bout it

She wakes, we face-to-face from her bed
Instead, instead, yeah
When we speak face-to-face from the head
From the head, yeah-yeah
She wakes, we face-to-face from the bed
I wish I could be with her instead
When we speak face-to-face from the head
Things go wayward and I end up upset

Let me be over there again
I wish I could be with her instead
Let me return for the night shift
I miss her like she's my only friend

I grew up, you grew down, we found out
Everything matters now
We grew up while you let yourself down
I want out

Yeah

They wanna take what's yours
They wanna go for dinner on your name
I let them take control and take me for a fool
It's such a shame
I never said a word and all time that I waited was a waste
They wanna see me stressed out every day, I know it
They wanna lie and still be friends
But when you're at worst, they're not there
And you discovered that they don't care

So, you didn't know any better
Doesn't it feel unfair?
Doesn't it?
Doesn't it? (Yeah)

Hey!
They wanna see me stressed out every day, I know it (yeah)
They wanna lie and still be friends
But when you're at worst, they're not there
And you discovered that they don't care

So, you didn't know no better (oh, you wanna see how?)
Doesn't it feel unfair? (Oh you wanna check on me now?)

(Yeah, yeah)
(Oh, you wanna see how?)
(Oh wanna check on me now?)
(Oh, you wanna see how?)
(Oh you wanna check on me now?)

I was lost felt nothing at all but I'm coming back now
Yeah, I'm in the background
No need to react now that everything's done (but let me say)
I thought it would be simple enough
And I had to grow up just to learn all the ways that it's not

But I never thought that I'd wanna call it quits in my whole life
I never aimed to feel confused, I blame myself to tell the truth
But now I know that everything's hard
When you're living in the dark
And you don't even wanna see it through
If that had to be the way I'd be feeling for days
And I knew it back then, I probably wouldn't do it

But I never got the chance to tell you
I never had the balls to tell you
No, I never had the balls to tell you

I did everything that I could, but still I was helpless (so helpless)
I shouldn't waste my precious time
On anyone living off of mine

And now I know that things are getting better
I could live like this forever
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
When I found my own way out
Was to open my mouth and be honest
I had to go and do it! Yeah

This could be the best decision that you ever made
Please, don't be afraid, she reassures me
I know it's hard to play-pretend
I promise you it's true to end
And winners never quit, you know
So quitters never win
(It's only getting better now for you)

I'm your man if you're looking for good times
Feel amazing and I'm on my way home
Yeah, I'm finally in the zone
I heard the word, "Goodbye" and felt surprised
That I wasn't even sad in the slightest
My mind was made up, but if I had to live a life
Only being polite, I'd be giving in
(I'm never gonna do it)

I'll never got the chance to tell you
I never had the balls to tell you
No, I never had the balls to tell you now

(Balls to tell you)
(Balls to tell you)

And I never got the chance to tell you
(No) I never had the balls to tell you
Balls to tell you

But I never got the chance to tell you
(No) I never had the balls to tell you
(I didn't)
Balls to tell you

The great protector
Is that what I'm supposed to be?
What if all this counts for nothin'
Everything I thought I'd be?
What if by the time I realize
It's too far behind to see?
Seventy mil' projector
I can show you everything, yeah
And we're on our way to glory
Where the show won't ever end
And the encore lasts forever
And it's time we're due to spend

Spendin' the years together
Growing older every day
I feel at home when I'm around you
And I'll gladly say again
I hope the encore lasts forever
Now there's time for us to spend
And it's sublime with you, my friend
This right here still feels like the honeymoon
When you say my name, nothing's changed
I'm still a boy inside my thoughts
Am I meant to understand my faults?

I don't think so
I don't think I'm meant to understand myself
Maybe you do, and that's good for you
And maybe in time, maybe one day
I'll do the same

I'll do the same
I'll do the same
I'll do the same

I'll do the same as you, I'll try and hold it up
Soon I hope, or as soon as I'm old enough
(Old enough to understand)
(Old enough to understand)

Stay forever
You know more than anyone, yeah, whoa
And it's you that knows my darkness
And you know my bedroom needs
You could blast me and my secrets
But there's probably just no need

I care about you, in every way I can
You know I'm troubled, but I know you can understand
I'm sorry for the strain
No one prepares you for the way in which things change
But you've been amazing, saw me through my darkest stage
And you always forgave me
And now you love me just the same

It means the most, I hope you know
And I hope you know
That I think about you in every single way

You're more familiar to me, more and more each day
I cry in front of you, and it's very necessary, babe
I will care about you, in every way I can

Looking back, I guess that ignorance was a breeze
I thought I knew everything but I was naive
Didn't understand it until the age of eighteen
Yeah, even then I was blind
2012, I remember being in need
True, 2015, you were fallin' for me
You sent through a love letter for me to read
And it's engraved in my mind

She changed the world I know
And it's better for it
Four years later, and look where we really are
Look how far we've come
Look at us now

Oh-oh, we're flying, I finally know I'm here for a reason
Thank you for waiting on me
I'm dying to see her, she's my favourite every season
Thank you for everything

January, baby, I was takin' my time
Spending summer and then we'll be good in July
Why can't it be like this for the rest of my life?
Huh, no, I wouldn't mind

'Cause she changed the world I know
And it's better for it
Four years later, and look where we really are
Look how far we've come
And nothing's changed that much

Look at us now, I'm proud of you
Oh-oh, she's on her way towards me
That means it all gets better soon
I hope my world feels better soon
(I hope my life feels better soon)
You let me do what I needed to
So this one's for you
'Cause even when my worst tricks get in the way
You're here to help me feel safe
I don't need to be with anyone else
I don't need to explain
No, I don't need to explain

She changed the world I know
And it's better for it
Four years later, and look where we really are
She changed the world I know
And it's better for it
She changed the world I know
Look at us now
I'm dying to see her (she changed the world I know)
(And it's better for it)
Four years later, and look where we really are (she changed the world I know)
I'm dying to see her (she changed the world I know)
(And it's better for it)
Look at us now

I'll keep the pictures saved in a safe place
Wow, I look so weird here, my face has changed now
It's a big shame
So many feelings struggling to leave my mouth
And it's not that rare for me to let myself down
In a big way

But I had enough time and
I found enough reason to accept that

It's not the same anymore
I lost the joy in my face
My life was simple before
I should be happy of course
But things just got much harder
Now it's just hard to ignore
It's not the same anymore
It's not the same anymore
It's not the same, but
It's not a shame 'cause

I spend a long time puttin' up with people
Puttin' on my best face
It's only normal when you stop things in the wrong way
It's only four o'clock, and still, it's been a long day
I just wanna hit the hay
People knockin' on me like every day
I'm tired of takin' stress
If only there could be another way
I'm tired of feelin' suppressed
And when they want me the most
I'm tired of actin' like I care, but I do
And I can't wait to hit the bed
But tomorrow makes me scared

'Cause it's not the same anymore
I lost the joy in my face
My life was simple before
I should be happy of course (of course)
But things just got much harder
Now it's just hard to ignore
It's not the same anymore (it's not the same)
(It's not the same, it's not the same)
It's not the same anymore (it's not the same)
(It's not the same, it's not the same)

Oh-oh
Oh-oh

I kept the feelings inside
I open up when shit gets built up this high
She makes it easy to cry
The words fall out of me and there's no more disguise
I miss the days when I was someone else
I used to be so hungry
Right now, my stomach's full as hell
And I've spent many months just hating on myself
I can't keep wishin' things would be different
Or leaving problems on the shelf
I wish I didn't need to get help
But I do
But I do
Oh

I been so hard on myself, yeah
Even my family can tell
And they barely saw what I felt
I wouldn't wish this on my enemy or anyone else

It's not the same
(It's not the same, it's not the same)
It's not the same as before
It's not the same anymore
And it's fine because

I've learned so much from before
Now I'm not short on advice
There's no excuses at all
No point in feelin' upset
Won't take my place on the floor
I'll stand up straight like I'm tall
It's up to me, no one else
I'm doin' this for myself
It's not the same anymore
It's better
It got better
It's not the same anymore
It's better
Yeah, yeah

Oh
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah