Rex Orange County - The Alexander Technique Album Lyrics

I've had back pain for most of my life
And the most I ever did was see the doc
And the doc told me that my back was alright
He had initials in his shirt, he had a nice expensive watch
I thought he knew what he was doing or at least what was right
He made me fill a piece of paper out with different questions all about
My health, wellbeing and the state of my life
I'll told the truth, I'm only lying to myself if I should lie
So, I answered everything and did my best to keep it real in between the lines
I gave it back to him, he took his time and read the paper over once or twice
He looked at me as if to say, "I need to tell you something"
"And don't prepare for me to tell you something nice"
He wanted to know just how much I tend to drink and smoke
I told him how it was and then he gave me this advice
He said, "Ease up on stress, you don't help yourself much"
"It's too intense for you to take, you'll only tense up"
"And you see you have these issues and you struggle to relax"
"So you come see me the doctor to get something for your back"
"But this piece of paper tells me that there's more that you should address"
"I see some anger in you, plus addiction, plus the rest"
"I feel like we should speak about this 'fore it comes first"
"And I know a lot of people who can help, for what it's worth"
I said, "I don't know if you don't understand, man, my back just f*cking hurts"
Do I need physiotherapy? Or is it something worse?
He paused and then he asked me what I thought we should do
I said, "If I knew that, I wouldn't be here, man, I'm asking you"
He handed me to someone who gave me a blood test
Who handed me to someone else who took my payment and took all of my f*cking patience
I should add at this point the doctor had already left
And I resented that man, I never went back to him again
But you know, in a weird way, I feel like maybe he was right
I may be using my back pain to distract from the pain of life
Feel it all externally when really it's just inside
Procrastinating, confrontation, every single time
So thank you Mr. Doctor Man, I'm now being sincere
I guess I just didn't wanna hear what I didn't wanna hear, okay

I was down and out in San Fran, hopin' they could make the drive
I was a lonely stoner, I was always taking time
I wasn't safe for a second, I'm closing my eyes
I never felt at home until I got old and realized
I remember being sixteen, didn't know a thing with open eyes
I couldn't take the pain but I was old enough to try
Looking in my reflection and wanting to die
I didn't like what I was seeing when I hoped I might
(Hope our bodies change, I can't stay the this way
Now I'm in pieces tryna leave but I can't
(I'm the only one who's running circles on the day)
I'm doubting my outfit, I'm doubting the way I look
She tells me, "You look great," but it hurts just the same
I didn't know at an early age
I can try, but I won't be in peace in my place
And though, I can go compare myself to them
It doesn't help me much in the end, no

Can't go far
And they can't go far
And they can't go far
And they can't go far

I'm in the back
Mama's driving 'round
I've been learning my raps
Doing it for all these different reasons
I love the way it feels
And now I'm inside
I'm listening to Nas
Illmatic, it's somatic
I'm not a fanatic
But I'll listen out of love
Lately, I'm digging

Free your mind and treat it kindly
Ten years old, I was unbothered
Spent my hours in the garden
I was alright

Black album, I've been listening to Jay-Z
Every day, pushin' in my CD player
Listen like I'm insane
It's the same each time I do it, ooh
Ain't no skipping through (skipping)
True, I was in a new phase
T.I just came with Paper Trail
And we got Tha Carter III from Wayne
808's from Ye
This was a simpler time
Simple days, 2008

Now my life's moving too fast-paced, yeah
So I'm taking it slow
I've been moving much too fast

I'ma free my mind and treat it kindly
Ten years old, I was unbothered
Spent my hours in the garden
I was alright (ah, ayy)

But I never gave up my love
I studied it all day long
Coulda been into sports, but
That's not where I belong
It wasn't until right now
Looking back over nuance
I was gonna be here somehow
Do not wanna say "I knew it," but
I did my young self proud
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Now I'm taking it slow

Welcome, welcome
Make yourself at home and take a seat
I'll be your host for the next hour
So get as comfy as can be
I'll do my best to tell you this story
I mean, it is a story about me
'Bout how I came up, then fell down
And then, I found peace
To set the scene, I arrived age seventeen
I didn't know nothin'
Why can't my ears open?
Took it in, I was always listening
I told the world who I was
Fast forward two years, two albums out
I wish I didn't say so much
But I can't take it back now (no)
So, growing up in public wasn't great, nah
I wouldn't ever trade it in for a life lesson saying
"The high is the high, and the lows are the lows"
Well, I'd rather have these dreams then have a boring life, you know?
And, even in my darkest hour I remember why I'm here
Never said what I was truly feeling 'til the way the most, for many years
But I say when life changes, you pipe up, you sit down
Speak to someone you can spend the time with
Um, I don't know, that's what I did (ah)

The therapist knows who I really am
They know me just as well as someone can
There's nothing in the world they're expecting of me
I'm simply here to speak
And nothing can surprise me now
I turn up and I let it all out
There's no one in the world that they need me to be
So I'll be myself and we'll see (ah)

2023 and I'm goin' in
I check myself in age, twenty-two, and no, I don't regret a thing
I wanna say thank you to my family for always putting up with things
And a big shout out to Steve and Linda for taking me under their wing
And takin' time, and the same goes to Damian
Who pulled me out the grave and showed me how to life this life
And whatever comes my way
I'll practice everyday, just give me sixty minutes
Once a week and a little bit of space
Soon, I'll be in a better place
Watch this
I'm not sayin' it's the only way
But sure, I couldn't do it on my own
New year, new me, yeah, yeah
This time I'm really in the zone
Everyone's just searchin' for someone to be in love with
And tryna find the thing they love to do
That could also maybe bring the bread in
Everybody has a stage these days anyone can entertain
We all need a bit of validation and that's okay (that's okay)
All I really want is to feel at peace, to find my place
Hey, maybe it's just a endless search
Alone here on this earth, and if so, that's okay (ah)

I wouldn't be here now if I failed
To take the time to care for myself
I never thought that things would get as bad as they were
I recharged and returned
And if you're sick of goin' through hell
Just know that I've been right there as well
It always go away after time passes by
So stick around and try

Yeah
Walking around at four in the morning
Turning it down 'cause there's already noise in my head
I should be going to bed
Speaking to people I don't wanna speak to
Wishing I didn't have to do the things that I do
What if I wasn't me, no
And someday I'll come forth and show a different side
And people will look at me and see
The person that I wish they'd really see
It's really me, just a boy
It's not easy to explain or comprehend
I'll make it out a stronger man
I know even though I've tried my hardest
Something still gets in the way
Overthinking things when it's late
Oh

Looking at a table
Wondering what type of wood it's made of
Wondering exactly which tree gave itself
And more importantly

Who sat beneath that tree?
Which lovers carved initials?
What happened on the ground around it?
Who walked on the leaves surrounding?

And where are those lovers now?
Are they still with us? Hopefully
Did that tree mean much to them?
Was it their place to go in spring?

Or summer when the sun came out?
Autumn walks amongst the leaves
I hope they know my table made me
Think of them and help me see

Much more than just a table
The people I won't get to meet
At least I got more out of it
Than just somewhere to sit and eat

Or to converse with someone else
Two folks between coffee
Now there's two more people sat down
On a one sat on the tree

Ah
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa

Looking at a stranger
Wondering what kind of life have they got
Wondering exactly what they're going through
And where they're going to

What do they care about?
And whereabouts do they go out
To let loose pre the stressful mornings?
Do they feel their job is boring?

And do they know how it feels
To fall in love uncontrollably?
Have they found their purpose or
The person that they'd like to be?
Around for months on end and spend
Days and nights there endlessly
I hope they've met someone who gives them
Everything they truly need

They may just be a stranger
But I see strangers constantly
We have so much in common and
Yet not enough for us to speak

I watch the stranger walk away
They stop and look back at me
I can't tell if I'm the stranger
Sometimes I feel like the tree

Ah
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
(Yeah)
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
Oh, whoa
(Yeah, yeah)

When you were born, you were born with an open mind and way
Then the folks around you showed you what they knew
They did the best that they could do
But you had dreams of new perspectives
How special, you manifest the best bits
'Til you start to shake hands with new folks
But it gets old soon enough
You're over it and you're onto something
That gives you plenty more
Satisfaction and control
Looking around at other people
Now you're alone
But isn't everyone? The answer might unfold, wait

Now you're saving up for something that just might make the change
It doesn't matter if you're making money
You'll always have your brain
No matter where you go on earth
You can feel just as stuck
Will you live a nomad's lifestyle?
Or will you pay the rent this month?
Oh my God
Smoking cigarettes now
Being someone you're not
Because it's a lot
And you're doing things for all the wrong reasons
And your job's just not what you want
You've gotta find your own way out
And find someone else
To share this unsure life with
And not be by yourself

One of these days
You'll find the love of your life to hold
You'll be where you need to be together somewhere
And you'll be right there growing old
That'll be fine for time has gone
Oh, the lessons you've learned
The things that brought you questions
Now a group of pointless words
One more time
Did you work out the meaning of life?
Quick, before you go
Could it be the only thing we ever learn?
Or do we never truly know?
You only find it out as soon as you leave
And sleep forever peaceful
End of cycle

Throwing your phone and throwing that pain at the wall
Making excuses, making it up
And breaking it off for once and for all
Taken a fall, and I'm feeling fine
Safe overall
Got people to call
Going outside, looking around, it ain't as safe as you picture
Feeling the same old fears that never had a chance to begin with, no
And the road was tough, getting off was worse
And you can't seem to get back to work
Watching people turning up to your own funeral
But what's it gonna take to pass the point and get in
Don't let them get to dictating your life

Stranger
I know (I know, I know)
When I can look at the sky I've painted
Is it alright that I've left spaces?
Evening light, there we go
So raw, Monet
Picasso made the only one
Show me how to do it and wanna run
Running out, running out
Running out, ooh

Much too much
You can't keep up, it's too tough
Then I might move away, I'm making my mind up
I'll leave with love
I'll be keeping in touch with people I trust
Take a little time away when it feels too much
I said, much too much
Can't keep up, it's too tough
And I'll know when I move away, I'm still making my mind up, yeah

Hang out for a minute, now you put your favorite work on the wall
With the hook you like, no more time to hide

Are you warm enough?
Stayed inside with the fire on
Your color's warm
Your color was often the same
But I was sometimes wrong
Though barely, but it went on for so long
People with different eyes
Spoke on deeper and deeper subjects
But we stayed inside with the fire on
This house is yours
This time you're mine and that's for sure
And when it's much too much
You lift me up and show me such love
Oh, oh

I had my fair share of thinking over all of the moments
My hands are hurting now and I can't seem to write
I couldn't turn back on what I promised myself I'd do tonight
I look back and see the times that I'd leave and I could've made it right

But don't go far from your purpose
Getting stuck in a hole, trying to grow
Life is a circus, we're not in control
Sliding doors
Where we would be if we didn't meet
That's info we'll never know
Leave your phone
Let's get in close, savor the moment, ooh

Oh, where we going?
Let's take time
We're always running, it's right at the door
Just waiting for us
It's loud for a minute and so exciting
We look outside, there's a satellite
And alcohol, put you down in the hole

Did your teammates change, are there any left?
Are you going insane?
I feel afraid by myself
Once I know, I'm on my own
It's sliding doors
I think of all that I am
And how if one thing had changed in a moment
No, might not know what I know

Yeah
The door, the door, the door
Sliding doors
Yeah
Sliding doors

I'm lost for words
I'm in the backseat and I wish I wasn't me
I don't deserve some of the words I'm hearing
Some of the people on the street
I don't deserve

And I never get it right, I know, babe
I always do my best, you know
But I only have it all
Oh, oh-oh
Na-na-na-na-na
Oh, oh-oh

Lost for words
I'm in the backseat and I wish I wasn't me
I don't deserve

Baby, the options I get
Play through them all right now
'Cause I'm out of my mind
I'll go insane if I don't see you this time
I swear to God, I love you
And I show you every time
But do you see it, girl?
Do you see in my mind?
Oh, oh-oh

I'm in the backseat and I wish I wasn't me
I don't deserve

All of the things you're saying
Please give me a break, a day off
There's something in the air
I'm not sure if you're feeling pleased or scared
But I'm right here and I'm holding you
Let me do it, let me do, oh
Let me do it, let me do it

I'm lost for words
I'm in the backseat and I wish I wasn't me
I don't deserve

All of the demons that I'm facing each night
And in my sleep, I'm lost inside the world
And I never get it right, I'm concerned
And everyone's alone with me, they're against the things I say

Look me in the eyes if you're gonna lie
It's the least you can do for me
I know why, I know why
But it doesn't make it any less pain for me
Look me in the eyes if you're gonna lie (oh, oh, oh, oh)
Look me in the eyes if you're gonna flee (ooh, ooh)
Let me down not so gently
Let me down like I would
Stare me down and then ghost me for years
Let me down like I would

Maybe we'll see each other at someone's wedding
Catch eyes across the aisle
It all ended the way this one's gonna end too
So I see you crack a smile
And I know exactly what you're thinking
It all went by while we were blinking
And we never got to say the things you always wanted to say
Before it's too late
Before it's too late

Look me in the eyes if you're gonna lie to me
It's the least you can do

When's it gonna change?
What's the point in making this when they just stay the same?
Writing things I've wrote before
Said that I would quit
But I don't think I'm sticking to it

My new years resolution was a weak one
Forgot that shit by Feb
I was gonna get shit done
But I had new shit in my head
It came 'round to March and
I was down and depressed
It was too much for a minute
Was not living at my best
I just stayed in bed for days, and
Showers came in April
Feeling like a fool now
I'm not looking forward
But when it gets warmer
Gonna feel a little better
I may, now it's May

Oh my god, my birthday coming up
I'm turning twenty-five
I hope that I see twenty-five more years alive
I wanna feel the best that I can feel
And make the most of life
But May came 'round so fast
I can't believe five months went by
Almost half
Yeah, it's summer soon, I'm happy as hell
And June is looking good, yeah, I can tell
Well, ready for it now
I'm outside the house, thank God
July came around, was grateful yet still frustrated

Oh
Feel too much now
This heat won't even save me
August is amazing
Sun tan under my face again
This year we needed reason to smile, so
Went Italy and did the anniversary, wow
Time went on and I remembered
Feeling like, "Holy f*ck, now, it's September"
What am I doing?
In fall, I'm feeling painless
Only three more months 'til we gon' start again
Going through the year together
Through the year together
October, now it's cold again
I don't feel like myself, oh God

November
I don't know the difference anymore
It's cold and I just want to go back to the start
I know I'll feel much better there
I'm gonna make new plans and stick to them this time, I swear
What now? What's next?
I need to think about gifts
Christmas coming up
Oh shit, I ain't ready yet
No, no, no

You start the whole thing over
And we try a little harder next year

This heart is beating just to say some'
Now I can't remember nothing
Working hard just to let it go
Life is good and I'm punching
Tryna give myself a break now
Saying nothing at the function
Tryna get back to who I am, who I was before the discussions
Nowadays, I'm on one
Checking in with my younger self
Finally feeling awesome
Settling in to my own home
Finally feeling normal
I'ma make the most of my being in my zone
Once again, I'm on one
Now we're past the eruption
Eyes are wide and I'm on guard
Ready for anything at all
Wanting a home run
Late text story's over now
Fractions of all the time gone
Now I'm on to a different mode
Watch me as I go
In a minute, I might be back again soon, I hope
And my body wants to throw the towel in, but I won't
I have faith in my rambling
I can finally see the man I am

Finally, I'm home
I finally let go
Finally, let go