Why's It So Hard? Video (MV)

When you call with your child I hate feeling strangled by time
And I think back to first holding her and her warmth flooding my insides
Now she's eleven weeks old refusing to smile on FaceTime
But as soon as you put that phone down she's laughing and making all kinds of sounds

When we hang up tears catch me by surprise
Why's it so hard to be present when God is staring through her eyes?

There's this mirror image of a girl's tethered body
But I'm told that the white string is just a reflection binding me
Then I'm sitting at this creek trying to find my yin energy
And as I leave there's this butterfly hovering at my feet

And lately there's been sweat emanating from my hands
Why's it so hard to be commanding when my heart knows the plan?

There's this girl, five years old, squinting in the Missouri sun
And she's laughing and playing and calling her grandma Mom
And it breaks her mother's heart cause her daughter's getting the love that she never got

There's this rock in my chest paired with my ego-ridden mind
Why's it so hard to give back what isn't mine?