Dirty Jim Jelliman told me all about a man
Who's more'n eight feet tall as he stands
And at his side he carries a chopper so dang sharp
It'd cut a fencepost like a cigar
And he puts that chopper to use killin' fools
And the fool killer comes
To harvest old and young
All the ripest of the fools
Well he never lacks for work, 'cause the fools run thick, see
And he's gotta clear 'em out like weeds
And when they run so awful thick, he just stirs up a war
And lets the fools do the work that he's put there for
Yes, war clears out an awful mess of fools
And the fool killer comes
To harvest old and young
All the ripest of the fools
God made cats for killing mice, mice for gnawin' stores
Stores for feedin' folks, and what's more
God also made the fool killer, to kill up all them fools
And stop 'em all from runnin' 'round loose
And he licks his red, hungry-lookin' lips
And the fool killer comes
To harvest old and young
All the ripest of the fools