Anxious Video (MV)

There I go again, I'm having an attack
What the hell just happened I'm sweating and I'm feeling really bad
Now I feel like I'm losing control of my life and I dying why do I feel sad
Why does everything look so blurry I'm dizzy oh my god someone call my dad
I need to calm down
I need to calm down
What did I just have
I was perfectly fine a couple minutes ago my face feels like it's buried in the sand
It's making me mad nobody understands get me out of this hole because I know I can't
I thought this passed I was doing so good but it got much stronger and now it came back shit
I've been dealing with this my entire life I never wanted any bit to show
But I can't keep faking myself and hiding my illness I want everyone to know
Anxiety, depression and panic disorder is something you can't just go with the flow
It came back hard and I don't feel the same this happened about a couple weeks ago
And I dropped out of school I was doing so good all A's top place scholarship on the way
Two jobs and a full time student everything was great and this shit just took it all way
It's all in your head the doctor says here's some pills and I'll send you on your way
Oh and hey attached is the medical bill for six hundred ninety eight what

Damn comes and goes but twenty four seven I'm feeling so sick
I'm going online and googling my symptoms trying to find out what's causing this
I know it's something I go to the doctor to get checked I become a guinea pig
They're giving me pills that I never even heard of taking these pills that are making me sick
I can't describe the feeling I was feeling I never felt so alone
I actually felt like everybody was gone all the ones I admired and all the ones that I know
I'm going through social media seeing faces of people living on their own
It's making me miss how I felt the depression hits I never felt this low
I never thought this shit would show
I'm losing hope but I'm not gonna give in and I want you all to know
I'm saying my prayers and keeping good spirits if you're going through a low just know that it will go
I'm not going to quit and I won't throw a fit thanking god in the days of worship
I am thankful for what I have a roof, family and clothes in my closet
I don't feel the same but I'm not gonna change I might of fell off but I'm coming with a bang
I am feeling all the pain I don't like taking medication but at least it's keeping me sane
I need some more
I need some more
Doctor please just give me some more
I feel like I'm dying feeling kind of nauseous, anxious oh and all the vertigo ah

During this time I did some thinking I kind of had a feeling I called it
Everyone seems to be absorbed in the media it's like a Wikipedia guys just stop it
Putting everything into the media with information my god social media is toxic
Instead of getting everything you can into a video enjoy the moment
And put the phone inside your pocket
I don't even know what I'm saying
I don't even care Im just praying
For god did not give me a spirit of fear but of love, peace and of a sound mind say it
I don't want to make it seem like I'm crazy
But no anxiety is gonna change me
Am I gonna overthink yeah probably but really if you're going through a low don't hesitate to call me