Rosie Sapphire - Lost All Hope Lyrics

I've f*cking had it, so many tracks have been thrown in the trash
While I bash my f*cking skull against these Ableton racks
I keep racking my brain like it's a Maverick 88
I hope it isn't loaded, 'cuz if it is, it's too late!

I've had it with the world, I'm sad as I curl up in a ball
Full of medicine, I puke and hurl at the wall
Wipe it off, but rage is seeping, I can't even f*cking sleep
And I'm keeping these whack-ass tracks hoping I can redeem them

And musically, I still feel like there's more to do here
But I haven't dropped a single f*cking thing for, like, 2 years
And all of this self-hatred is making me crazier
To the point all I wanna do is slit my wrists with a razor

But I just can't keep going on pretending nothing is wrong
While I'm over here with my panties in a f*cking wad
My noggin's dead, my sanity is closeted
Dad, if you can hear me, I hope you get f*cking shot in the head!

'Cuz I've lost all hope, I just don't know how to do what I did before
Why am I so slow, can't create no more, this life is a dirty whore
And if I had one wish, it would be for all this to just be some crazy dream
But so far as is, I gotta keep chugging, I can't make these daemons leave

This world is a mess, every day is a test
And I don't know how much longer I'll last
This life is kicking my f*cking ass
And for those of you who feel this way too, this song is for you
The ones who are barely making it through

And anyway, my friends, I'm sorry I went astray
I really needed those 2 years to go and just hide away
'Cuz every single day it seems that I'm always in pain
Whether physically, mentally, emotionally, it cannot be sustained

I feel like it's all in vain, like I ain't got shit left to gain
Trying to keep it going while I'm slowly becoming insane
The pain train's raping my brain, my vein's ache
I hate making a song about rage, but this is all I can take!

But I guess it's not all bad, sure, I'm depressed and sad
But I'm weaponizing and turning it into a goddamn track
By the way, dad, if you get capped, I hope you last
And get your asshole f*cked full of shards of glass! (FUCK YOU!)

'Cuz I've lost all hope, I just don't know how to feel how I did before
I'm unreliable, and this is a cycle that I can't break anymore
I'm sorry I can't learn, soon I'll be in an urn, I was not made for this world
But while I hate my self, I hope that someone else can take something from these words.

But I just can't keep it up, God please
This mentality will kill me faster than a disease
And while I may be in pain right now
This is more a time than ever to get myself out

And nobody said that this life would be fair, but
With systems in place that are all stacked against us
You start to realize we can't change the bigger picture
All we can do is build ourselves a better future

'Cuz I've lost all hope, I don't know how to cope, but I might still be okay
They say I'm not alone, but those exact same folks, disregard everything I say
"You're not the one I met", "You're melodramatic", I'll go and find my own resolve
'Cuz if you think that helps, then you can f*ck yourself, you may as well have said nothing at all