S T V N - Contemplation Lyrics

I've been searching on my own
Found no place to call my home
Been so long since I felt happy
Ain't nobody gonna save me
I doubt my purpose a lot
I get lost in my thoughts
I have insecurities
I've been through a lot
But haven't we all, always putting up a fight
Everybody's suffering, you just wanna die
Lay alone at night wiping your tears as you cry
Drowning in your thoughts, wondering why
Do I really deserve this
I know I'm not perfect
But I try my best, my life's a mess
Been feeling like my heart's on house arrest
Nothing makes sense
I don't know how to feel
My heart keeps lying to me
I don't know what's real
Guess I'll cover my ears and shut my mouth
I get it, you don't wanna hear me out
Nobody listens to what I'm saying
This is just my contemplation
I've been searching on my own
Found no place to call my home
Been so long since I felt happy
Ain't nobody gonna save me
I went ghost so long people thought I was gone
A real ghost roaming around 'til I dropped this song
What's wrong, it's too late now
You had your chance before, now I'm moving along
Ghosting all my socials, you didn't notice
Working on my album, I had to focus
Contemplating should I leave again
Gonna disappear like, would you notice then
It's really not your business who I'm messing with
You had your chance before, but now I'm over it
Been spending all this time contemplating
What I should and shouldn't do I kinda hate it
I don't know if I'm gonna make it
Is my life important, should I save it
I don't know who I should be engaged with
I have friends but are they faking it
I really feel like everyone's pretending
When you look in the mirror do you fit it
Are you happy with the life that your living
Okay I'm done now, I'm gonna end it
I've been searching on my own
Found no place to call my home
Been so long since I felt happy
Ain't nobody gonna save me