Containing the Paradox Video (MV)

I'm thinking heretic thoughts, I'm a paradox
Cuz every time I try therapist, I'm aware I'm not
I keep my fits bottled up in the bars, kissed goodbye to my honest cause
Fists are fighting, fly off the walls, Mr. Mighty Mind's often off his
Rocker, I'm mental, I get it, half my day is spent
In my imagination mending this fragile state that I've been in
I'm lacking all incentive, it's laughable lately, end it
In actuality, pent up with passion I pay the penance
Of confession, confessing to any menacing deed
I've said in my speech, anything ever said through my teeth
I admit it, I get it, I've been protective of my peace
But believe, I'm a wreck until I D-I-E, see

I'm containing the paradox
I got the war inside of my head
Cuz I rock ignored, but I'm bout to rhyme dead
Cliche and Tisse say I'm outta my breadth
I keep making heat but I swallow my breath

Every verse that I spit is like a nervous tick
Squirm and I fidget when I word this, inertia hits
Learning to live with a curse is a worthless gig
But I've committed to this circus, ya heard the hits
I'm this, that, and the other, pick your poison
I get annoyed by my voices but enjoy them
I zip my lips, I don't want them to know, let's be honest, I've been unknown
Every harmony said lobotomy, listen often, write mental notes
I'm tattooing the track
Move and attack, boom, bap
This dude can rap, "Who is Matt?"
Beneath this Santa Claus smile beats the heart of a sewer rat
I do this to fumigate body and soul, but all of my art is a part of my woe
I'm carving these scars in my arm with the notes that I harness in flow, that's all that she wrote
It's out of control, this power, behold, I'm calloused in maladies, talent untold
With chemical foes, regret and no hope, no medicine though, but whatever it's dope, so

This is heat vs. hell, freak vs. fail
Speak vs. tell, it's me vs. myself
I don't know if I can keep in control
Cuz they all wanna be the focus, while I'm screaming "hell no!"
It's Sauce vs. Matisse, Sauce vs, Matisse
It's Sauce vs. matisse, all versions of me "we know"
I'm tryna see if I believe if I care or not
It's scary when I'm barely there, containing the paradox