Sidelines - Bending // Breaking Lyrics

I remember this feeling so slowly
I was being taken by the wind
I understood exactly what you wanted
Understood that I could never win

I fell from the top of their towers
I was being taken by the wind
The ground looked so inviting
But hitting it would mean you'd win

And now I hope that I could save
A little bit of time by mending pain
Not mine or yours at the end of the day
But the pain of those that never stayed

I've lost so much in such short time
My dreams are filled with your eyes
18 months, not enough
But 18 months, is all I've got

And I'm not sure if I'm
Bending or breaking
I feel gods and demons
Taunting me
They say it's all in
All in his plan
But what kind of plan
Would take you from me

And it's sickening
More than I can describe
That people can look me in the eye
And say, it's a part of life
So f*ck you and all of the things
That tell you, you have that right
Unholy preacher of worthless thoughts
I hope you don't wake up tonight

And I'm not sure if I'm
Bending or breaking
I feel gods and demons
Taunting me
They say it's all in
All in his plan
But what kind of plan
Would take you from me

I will live in this pain
I will love in this pain
I will die in this pain
I won't escape from this pain
This is where I choose to rot
This is where I choose to R̶̨̧̛̟̹͎̜̙̺̹̜̼̩͓̬͖͍͇̈́́̓̈́͆̇̍̆́̀̽̏̇́̍̏̋̈̇͘͜͝͝͝ͅö̵͎̲̜̖͈̰̬́͗̀̍́̇͛̀͒̾͆̎̚̕͜͝ţ̷̨̛͔͓̦͓̟̮̬̪͙̜̹̠́̅͆̀̒̈́̾̓́̅̐̃̈́̾̀͝